Amelia - posted on 09/25/2013 ( no moms have responded yet )
I am finally doing something I've always wanted but never had the ambition, I guess- going to grad school to pursue my masters in psychology. There was always a reason- usually money that stopped me. My husband felt we should save for a house, which sounded reasonable. Over the years we had 3 beautiful children bought and sold our first and second houses (the second one was classic for the year 2006 - it was one of THOSE loans). We moved back into my parents 2 family and a year later, he announces he wants to separate and moves out. Had a secret Facebook account, woman he was leaving me for, the whole thing...
It was traumatic, but did give me that fire under me I've needed to think about a career. Initially it was to be psychiatric nursing, but given the intensity level of the coursework and the fact that I now had a part time office job, it didn't work for me. Conseling was my next best choice...I know it won't make me rich, but it's a good career, the license is flexible and I think sets a good example for my 2 girls, 9 & 11 as well as my 13 year old son. My question is coming, but first I must explain that last year my husband moved back in. Much more supportive, spends time with the kids now and even helps around the house (none of this was happening before). He is not crazy about my goign to school though. He doesn't get the advanced degree thing, and feels like I should be working a full time office job for the money (we still live in my parents 2 family). My answer to this is that sure for now its more money btu that's short term and I will ceiling out as a secretary. As a counselor there are boundless career paths and many have more than one job, so making a nice living is not out of the question. He feels like moving back in negates my need for the masters. I also think its about other things besides money (as I have noted) and since we have a nice, decent sized place to live, I think its a great time to do this. He'd prefer not to be in the same home as my mom, and would like to rent someplace else. We can't move to a new town at this point so I don't see the logic in leaving what we have (for cheap rent mind you) for something that will not be as nice and will be more expensive just because his mother in law lives downstairs. She is helping with my schooling so that part is not burdening us either. He is just frustrated that he still has to drive an old SUV and we can't take as many vacations as he'd like. Emotionally I'm not so sympathetic as we could have avoided much of this situation 5 years ago when everything fell apart. Much has happened and he's made many changes so I won't throw that in his face, but I still feel unsettled. Actually I feel quite guilty as if going to school is selfish of me. Does anyone have a similar experience or understand the guilt? Sorry this is so long but there's so much information I have a hard time keeping it short :-)