Any suggestion for having Two under two??!!

Sudakshina - posted on 01/09/2011 ( 4 moms have responded )

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My first babies is turning one this week n I'm due for the second one in another 4 weeks! Now I'm nervous coz the first one has started becoming more demanding on me n ultimately developed a possesisive over me which wasn't the case till now. First one, the girl, had been very easy from the start; now I'm having a boy, hence this seems to b a completely new chapter all together. Any suggestions/ experiences on dealing with two under two is very much appreciated! Thanks.

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Louise - posted on 01/10/2011

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I suggest that you try and plan your day as best you can. When the baby is asleep let her have one to one time with you where you devote that time to her alone (the household chores can wait). As she gets older and approaches two you will be able to do the chores as part of a game where she can help. Lissa has some really good ideas especially about the play pen I used mine all the time. It was a safe place to leave my daughter whilst I nipped to the loo or grabbed a shower. Good luck the next year is going to be busy!

Lissa - posted on 01/10/2011

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Hi mine are 15 months apart so I've been there :)
Firstly I would make and freeze some meals now so you don't have to think to much about that for a few weeks after the birth.If you don't already have a travel cot/playpen get one they are very handy if you have to do something and need to put the baby down but out of reach of your older child.
When you are feeding the baby read to your little girl so she can sit with you and not feel left out, it also minimises interupted feedings having to run after a one year old. Ask your one your old to help pass you wipes diapers etc, it will make her feel involved. Never leave them in a room alone together your little one has no concept of what may harm the baby. Teach your daughter about gentle hugs and kisses so she doesn't inadvertently hurt the baby. Many of my friends brought my daughter a big sister gift to make her feel special. Try to avoid saying new baby because it may make your daughter feel like the old one :) Also avoiding I can't do that now because baby needs is a phrase to avoid because you don't want her to feel it's all about the baby, try please help me do this then we can play. A doll with a diaper that can be changed and a bottle is a good idea so she can do things for dolly while you do it for baby. When Daddy/family/friends are there get them to see to the baby while you spend one on one time with your daughter. You are going to be tired, having a shower will seem like a miracle so when help is offered take it! When people come to visit do not feel you have to attend to them they can make their own tea and if they are a really good friend do your dishes and laundry too :) Something I found is feeling like I had to be seen to be coping perfectly, everything had to be neat, clean and organised. Don't stress out about these things a bit of mess never killed anyone and babies don't care if their clothes aren't ironed. If you need help tell someone, if you are struggling and stressed your children will pick up on it and you can have feeding problems and a tearful demanding one year old. There is absolutely no shame in saying you need help!!
So after that let me tell you some great things about them being so close in age. My youngest two now 5 and 6 adore each other, on my youngest first day at school his big sister held his hand sat with him at lunch (still does). The other day she told him she will always be there for him and help him. They are so close it just about breaks your heart. There will be so much laughter in your house, they are never lonely always have someone to play with. They make friends and keep them really easily because they learned very early on how to share and compromise. As they are so close together things like games or films they may want to see are always appropriate for both so you never have to feel you are letting one down and catering to the other. They end up being a team, which occasionally is against you lol. I also found my youngest learned a lot of things more quickly because he was trying to catch up with his sister and wanted to be part of what she could do. That said it is also very common for older ones to talk for the younger ones so try and encourage her not to do this when he is old enough to speak for himself. Lastly I and many other friends have found their is something of an affinity between them this young, my daughter frequently said her brother wanted whatever and you know what he did. She really seemed to understand him long before he could talk.
Good Luck!!

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Sudakshina - posted on 01/10/2011

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Thanks Lissa; I love to beyond the first year to see the brighter side! I always thot having two close sibling was great n fun but now tat the time is approaching, I'm hoping to cope with it. The positive and huge thing is my mom wud be close to offer help for first few weeks, it's just tat Aniya is all over place these days n very curious abt everything. I think a doll with diaper n bottle sounds a great idea to share the concept.
Thanks for ur reply

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