Any suggestions

Jessica - posted on 11/30/2015 ( 5 moms have responded )

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I had my daughter at 15 & her father was 17. At first he was excited about being a dad. But then he started to become abusive and take my daughter whenever we would fight and put me out. I eventually continued out my H.S. education & moved on from him. He didn't attend school & would not baby sit. He would not pick her up from day care or froms school when she started head start. Even after we broke up his family continued to antagonize me & take my daughter. His relatives even found amusement in my daughter calling a girl that was in love with him mom. There were times when I would visit & after I left someone would tell him I vandalized his car. And he would believe them. He even came to find me one day with his brother who probably really vandalized his car & blamed it on me. He tried to attack me after I told him that i did not do it. So this time my uncle was there & had to use physical force on him. That was my final so I pressed charges because I was tired of him, his girlfriends & family members attacking me. When he would drop my daughter off & I had company he would threaten them & throw my daughter on the couch. He went to jail for a very long time & now he is out. Everything was fine before he came home & now his family members are back acting psychotic & antagonizing me again. I try not to ask him for much because it only leads to an argument. So I try to keep the peace because if he or anyone he knows ever raise a finger at me ever again will have more then charges pressed or a ppo to worry about. I even tried being nice & tried doing things as a family but his interest was not in my daughter. He even asked why I had to make everything about her. So I cut down the communication so that he wouldn't think that I was leading him on. His response was that we were a family & to tell my boyfriend of 6 yrs that he was back home. But we were not in a relationship when he first became incarcerated. He seems to only want to do for my daughter only if I have a relationship with him. My family are also just as ignorant. My mother used accept money from his mother & give her my daughter in return. I feel so betrayed by every one & not too mention they all say that I act as if I'm better than them. So every chance any of them get they are always trying to step in my way. I hate having to deal with my daughters father it is very stressful. I tried individual therapy with her & group therapy with all of us. But that didn't work either. And sometimes when she had therapy he would take her & not return her. I should not have to even compromise with him or give him leadership as a man because he signed over parental rights 6yrs ago. Because his mother convinced him that I had a baby to get his money. I just want to walk away from all of this & never look back. I was recently in a car accident so I have no car I asked him if he would take her to school so instead his girlfriend called the cps & he tried to convince me to let her move in with him. And this is the same girl that he would constantly sneak around with and attacked me on many occasions she even threw objects at me while I had my daughter when she was only 1 wk old. I hate him his family & my family too. I tried following the advice of my family but that lead me nowhere. It seems like I cant win for losing with these ppl.

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Dove - posted on 11/30/2015

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If he has no parental rights... you do not have to let him see her at all. If he shows up anywhere near her you leave. If he shows up to your house you call the police and have him removed for trespassing. People will only treat you the way you allow yourself to be treated. Unless there is a court order specifying otherwise... YOU are the only one that has a say in your child's life. If anyone else can not respect you... you need to walk away from them and not allow them to be a part of your lives.

If you can not do this and YOU keep bringing them into your life... you only have yourself to blame for whatever happens.

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Sarah - posted on 11/30/2015

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You are the only one who can rid yourself of these people who treat you badly. Your daughter is old enough to know who her dad is and to remember him. that it has draggeed on for 6 years whenyou could have left anytime is unfortunate but you cannot change that now. If you want a clean start, move and get away from all of these people who hold you back.

Jessica - posted on 11/30/2015

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It is very hard to make a decision & the decision will ultimately affect your child's happiness. And I was pretty much listening to the opinions of others. But it hasn't worked it only get worse each time & I find myself upset. Ppl make it seem as if I'm a mad woman that's upset that we are not together. So I was pretty much trying to steer clear of being stereotyped as being an angry ex.

Jessica - posted on 11/30/2015

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Yes but ppl make it seem as if my daughter will look to me as if I'm the bad guy.

Sarah - posted on 11/30/2015

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If he has no parental rights, why do you continue to be involved with him at all?

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