Any suggestions for my child who gives herself pressures and goes for perfection! She is 9 years old.

Eunice - posted on 02/28/2011 ( 4 moms have responded )




She will cried, beat herself and says that she is a bad girl whenever she did something not to her expectation. So headache!!!

Has explain to her that everyone make mistakes and nobody is perfect but I think she still will give herself pressure and throw tantrum.


Louise - posted on 02/28/2011




This is a hard thing to explain to a child like this. My eldest son whilst in school was just the same he had to be top of the class anything less was a failure in his eyes. I think this came from the fact he was in the gifted and talented programme and if he was not at the top of the class the other children would tease him. I never knew the answer to this I did make biscuits and stuff with him when he was little to demonstrate that even the odd shaped ones tasted nice so things did not have to be perfect.

Nothing seemed to help it is just there personal way of dealing with pressure.

if your daughter is harminig herself then you need to be really firm with her and put a stop to this. Get eye contact with her and sharply say stop that, i don't wont to see you do that again and send her to her room to calm down. If she feels the need to hit something buy a child size punch bag to let her vent her anger.


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Bonnie - posted on 02/28/2011




Maybe trying to stay positive with her and telling her that she is doing great in all she does do, maybe that will help.

Make her feel worthwhile and that she is the best she can be. I'm not trying to say that you aren't doing these these or that you are being negative towards her, but maybe re-emphasizing will help.

Eunice - posted on 02/28/2011




Thanks for your advise! She was okay after a while and she admitted herself her expectation is very high. I think keeping her in the room and calm down is a good way. Thanks!

Deepti - posted on 02/28/2011




this is somthing new that a child is so goal driven that she cant forgive her mistakes...first of all, assure her that she will be loved whatever be the result of her tests or competitions...and also that there is nothing which is perfect... in ur daily routine u can act like both mom and dad accept each other in spite of their mistakes and still love each other... a forgiving atmosphere may ease the tension of the child
u can remind her that so much of tension will harm her performance in the future and for gud performance it is necessary to relax.
thru examples u can teach her that even a leader or famous personality have some imperfections.... visit here for more help:

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