Any suggestions on how to help Adult Son thrive?

Mary - posted on 04/21/2017 ( 4 moms have responded )

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HELP! My 23 year old son is not thriving. When asked what his goals are or what he wants for his life, he told me he has no goals and no plans and other than working 6 hours a week and told me all he wants to do is watch tv and play video games and he doesn't want that to change. He tells me he will "find a FT job" but does nothing. So he knows how to say the right things to deflect.

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Tiffany - posted on 04/23/2017

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Tough love is the only thing that can undo what should have been done years ago, just like Dove said. I hope that you aren't paying for cell phones, these games he's playing, clothes or anything else. He must enroll in somebody's school and see a career counselor. He may even need to consider signing up for the military. I know it's tough but it's got to be done. This could become a bigger problem if he gets a family at some point.

Sarah - posted on 04/22/2017

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I agree, unless you think he is ill. Time to cut him loose. Think about it, why would he change if he is not pushed to change?

Dove - posted on 04/21/2017

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So he's not in school and he's not working? Should have served him w/ eviction papers years ago... Doing nothing w/ his life at 23 is his business... as long as it's not done in YOUR house. He needs to be paying rent and contributing to the household.

It's time to write up a contract of what you will and will not allow him to do in your home and he can sign it and start manning up... or move out. Now... if he has any underlying issues (like anxiety or depression) you can certainly be a little softer for the time being, BUT... only if you make counseling part of the rental agreement, so he is moving towards the desire to be self sufficient. If he is simply being a lazy moocher... time for some tough love.

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