Any tips on coping with a miscarriage?

User - posted on 01/26/2010 ( 11 moms have responded )




Two weeks ago I found out that I had lost a baby that me and my fiance were really excited for. It's hitting me a lot harder than I thought it would, any tips on how to get through the pain and move on?


Ashra - posted on 01/26/2010




First off, I am so very sorry for your loss.

I know that this is going to sound trite, but when we lost our son, we thought that we could deal with it on our own. big mistake. It almost ruined our marriage because we didn't want to bring up the loss to one another. I would strongly suggest going and talking to a counsellor. I know that not seeing one is one of the biggest regrets that we have.

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Helen - posted on 01/27/2010




I am so sorry to hear that you had a misscarriage, it a bad time, but if you are young and healthy you will try again and will succeed, I had one when I was very young and did take a while to get over it, but you must think that there maybe there was something wrong with the bub and it's natures way to not having bubby. If you are still trying they recommend, I think folic acid but look into it before trying as it boost up to having a baby. And give yourself a couple of months to get your body back to normal, before trying again.

Abbie - posted on 01/26/2010




I assume you have a child, judging by your picture. You focus your energy on that child. I have lost 4 pregnancies- all have been very different. the first i knew about 2 days, it wasn't anythign I had time to be excited about. the 2nd ruined my marriage. It was an ectopic and I had to have surgery to correct it. My husband ( now ex) grew very distant and we eventually divorced. the 3rd - again like the first, found out i was pregnant and like a week later I started bleeding. I never felt pregnant with either of them. 4th was this past October- this has been very hard on me. Not so much the fact of I lost another one, but the fact of will I ever carry a child. yes I have a almost 2 year old son.

Miscarriages are very hard, most of us never know the reason why they terminated. My doctor said a lot of times the chromosomes are just off and they can't survive. I am ok with that. I am! What do I do to make it through?? I try very hard to not hate those that have babies easily and who have never gone through the loss. I try to talk to my husband about it. Its a sad spot in both our hearts, as we don't know what the future holds. You have to talk to people who understand it. Not just family and friends because most people do not understand and never can until they ahve walked in those shoes. I would suggest the death of a child at any age on here, but honestly I feel worse after i have been there. I don't know maybe I am getting hard in my age and number of losses. What I feel works best for me, is to talk to someone who has been through it. When all else fails, a good drunk and crying it out (( honestly sometimes you have to do that)) Also if you feel its consuming your help. Depression comes from this very easily, its a quiet pain that we hold.

If you need to talk please message me; I am here anytime, I know the pain it causes and the frustation of WHY? Please know though you didn't do anythign to cause this!!

[deleted account]

I am so deeply sorry for your loss. I had a miscarriage last year, the day after Christmas. It was heartbreaking and I still think about it. I didn't like hearing it but my doctor told me that miscarriages are nature's way of ending an unhealthy pregnancy and naturally, we all pray for a healthy baby. Opening up to my husband about my feelings and talking about it helped me a lot. You need time to grieve. I pray for you. God bless.

Quinley - posted on 01/26/2010




HI, So sorry for your loss, I have had 2 misscarriages myself and unfortunately the best way is to grieve for ur loss, I promise it will get easier in time! I have a 9month old, I lost the first baby before she was born and another after. I just thought about how lucky I was to have such a supportive fiancee and Gorgeous baby girl. Appreciate the things u have now and you can always try again in the future. It helps to talk about it with ur partner/husband and just remember it is NOT your nor ur Husband fault, it happens to alot of women for no good reason at all.

User - posted on 01/26/2010




I am very sorry for your loss, I have never been through this myself but I have been with my sister through 5 miscarriages. One day when she was grieving one of her miscarriages I asked her made her grieve the most and it was the fact that she didn't get to say goodbye and didn't have the closer that a grieving parent needs. The next day I grabbed 2 of her favorite flowers and I took her to the lake that she lived by and told her that the first flower was for the baby that she just had lost and we went to the end of the dock and placed the flower in the lake and took a moment of silence. Then I gave her the second flower and told her that this one is for the ones she had lost in the past and so we placed that one in the lake as well. It was one of the most saddening but peaceful moments of my life and now my sister has her closer and has a beautiful memory of her babies. I wish for you the peace that my sister and I came by and I hope that this can help you in your road to healing.

Janice - posted on 01/26/2010




Hey Emily,
I'm so sorry to hear that. I too have been through it. There is absolutely nothing any one can say to make you feel better. You will probably go through the grieving process, I know I did. Just be sure to talk about it to whom ever will listen whenever you need to. Remember you didn't so anything wrong. This happens to so many women . . . take comfort in knowing you are not alone.

Cheris - posted on 01/26/2010




about 4months ago my husband and i were expecting twins and we lost both of them...what helped me was talking about it whenever the feeling came husband was right there by my side and he listened 2 everything i had 2 say he even talked about it so that also helped me i hope this will help you and ur fiance...good luck

Jennifer - posted on 01/26/2010




Just know that God (or whatever higher power you believe in), has a greater plan for you than you had for yourself. your angel baby needed to be elsewhere for whatever reason... you may not fully understand while your here on earth. i'm so sorry for your loss, i dont think you ever really move on, but you except it over time. i've had 5 m/c's and lost my 10 day old baby girl... this was a total of almost 5 years ago... and i still have my moments. and dont forget to be there to support your fiance, cause he also lost a baby, and a lot of women forget that! he'll be there for you, but you will only be able to get past this 'together' if you support each other through this trying time. i hope one day you are blessed with a bundle of joy! you can also go to the march of dimes website, they can send you out all kinds of information about grieving the loss of a baby, and information on when your ready to try again. again, so sorry for your loss, the pain will lessen! good luck ♥

Amy - posted on 01/26/2010




first of all, i'm so sorry. i had it happen too. i was even past that "safe" point and could see the little person that i miscarried. it's devestating and from time to time it may still make you sad. i consoled myself with the fact that it just wasn't what was best for that baby at the time. for some reason, i thought the little one would come back to me. we debated on if we should try again or wait until we had our grieving time. we didn't want to feel like we were replacing anyone. we ended up taking it as a sign that my body maybe wasn't ready. we only waited a few months, but did get pregnant right away. may sound silly, but when i got pregnant, i felt like my baby came back to me. i don't know if that helped any. but its not easy. i had a hard time cooking with eggs for a few months. it just made me cry because it reminded me of my little one. i wish no woman ever has to miscarry. hope it gets better with each day.

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