Anyone else keeping their pregnancy a secret til the

User - posted on 05/24/2010 ( 9 moms have responded )




I've known I was expecting for around 6 weeks now. Since our last pregnancy ended in miscarriage we've been trying to keep it a secret. I'm failing miserably. I haven't told anyone yet, except my fiance, but now that we're 10 weeks it's getting harder and harder! Especially since we had our sonogram and got a picture of the little one. Can anyone share stories or advice on how they kept their mouth shut?


Susan - posted on 01/14/2012




I have had practice. I have 7 children and am pregnant for the 11th time. I am married and support my children modestly but I get a lot of grief from certain people when I anounce a pregnancy. My rule of thumb is to wait around 20 weeks. I am 23 weeks right now and a few friends who are supportive (they have large families). My mother and mother-in-law are the tricky ones. They are in the 2 kids per family club. By the way I am the 3rd child of my mother's. I was a happy accident. My mom doesn't get angry she just doesn't understand my life choice to have a large family. I have had several jobs (here in the US) where I did not qualify for maternity leave so keeping my pregnancy a secret for as long as possible was necessary to secure my reputation that I could "do the work". It is amazing how your attitude and the way you carry yourself can make a difference. people are apt to believe what they want to believe. The older I get the easier it is for me to hide things. The best way to hide a pregnancy is to be holding a toddler on your hip. (You may have to borrow one!!) I am holding onto about 15 extra pounds so that makes things easier too. Winter is easier than summer because scarves dangling over your belly and jackets can distract even if they don't hid. Sitting at a desk or always having a book or laptop in your lap helps. I go for a scan next week to make sure everything is OK. After that I plan on getting the nerve to tell my mother and the rest of the world. There are a lot of reasons to keep a pregnancy to yourself.... None are wrong. Good luck.

Kristin - posted on 05/24/2010




We kept it to ourselves until we really couldn't any longer. With our first, pretty easy to do and figured the tradition of not mentioning until the end of the first trimester was reasonable. With the two later pregnancies, I made it to about week 11 and got nailed with AWFUL nausea. It's difficult to hide that when your family is visiting and I felt it was close enough.

I think I would confide in your very closest friends who can keep it to themselves. That way you kind of get to have the best of both, tell some who are very supportive no matter the outcome and not tell others who may not be so supportive.


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Jessica - posted on 05/24/2010




i kept my 2nd pregnancy a secret for 17weeks... it was so hard i told my best friend and my husband and sister.. but i wanted to wait until the first ultrasound to tell everyone else..

Amanda - posted on 05/24/2010




With my first pregnancy I misscarried at 10 weeks, I had told my parents that I was pregnant and they FREAKED out. They spent an hour yelling at me for how irresponsible I was, at the time I was 21 and living with my spouse. When I found out I was pregnant again I didn't want to say anything. It was very difficult because I needed my stepfather to drive me to my first couple of ultrasounds. I kind of avoided my family until I told them because I didn't want it to slip. When I did finally tell my mom, she was so excited and I felt bad that I hadn't told them sooner.

Andrea - posted on 05/24/2010




To me the tradition of waiting until you're out of the first trimester to tell people is silly as I have learned first hand anything can happen at any time. I made it all the way to 7 months and one of my twins still died. I feel if you tell close friends and family from the beginning, they can be there for you if anything bad happens and support you.
I hope everything is fine for you this pregnancy.

Sarah - posted on 05/24/2010




When i found out i was shocked and was in tears how could i tell my family?! was going through my mind...ended up telling my mum and partners mum but we wanted to keep secret as we both young and didnt want to let our siblings know until after 12wkz for the miscarriage chances didnt want them to tell to others eitha as in my partners side his mum has had a few miscarriages...but was really hard as they around us all the time and i felt mean that they didnt knw but they kinda workd it out on their own they say they just felt sumtink was different with ended up telling them at about 10wkz and i was getting frustrated so i told my closest friends who i knew i could trust and those that i knew would be there for me on my emotional rollercoster and that wouldn't tell others until i felt ready...but i understand what you are going through for me i kept reminding my self that if sumtink happend to bubz and people knew how would i feel with them mentioning it all the time??? it is hard! mayb u could talk with your partner more i found that helped me stay focused on keepin it a secret and i went over and over the way i would actually tell people when i knew i was ready so that my friends who i hadnt told wouldn't get angry that i didnt tell them early...i was suck in a position around two of my friends that werent close close but my friends and they both pregnant and talking about their situation and i was like yip, didn't wana say much or i knew id let the secret out!!! wasn't til after i passed 14wkz i told everyone and they were like "u were pregz when we were talking about stuff..." as that convo was them telling me they were pregnant hehe...but i reckon you will feel much better once you decide ur ready to tell everyone and will see how much support you will get from those around you...being pregnant i have found is hard work but couldnt cope without everyones support and everyone love someone pregnant hehe you always have fun talking about your baby and showing your bump off hehe...hope all goes well and congratz!!!!

Jessie - posted on 05/24/2010




i am keeping this one a secret from certain ppl and the ones I have told are well trusted, its easy for me because I don't really care for the ppl we are not telling, I read an article where the couple were keeping it hush hush and the father had a hard time so what he did was call random ppl out of the phone book and tell them just blurt it out as soon as they picked up so that he had the satisfaction of telling and still could keep his mouth shut around ppl he knew.

Karen - posted on 05/24/2010




my first pregnancy was a miscarriage and when i got pregnant the second time, my dr told me that i should let people know incase i miscarried again . if i had complications and needed help from someone they would know the situation and come...we wouldn't have been able to keep it a secret anyways i don't think...good luck!!

[deleted account]

My friend kept her pregnancy a secret and to keep it a secret she told me and a few other trustworthy friends that she knew understood.

Its hard....

People just don't get it...

And part of our thinking is it will be easier to deal with our grief if the awful happens.

But it's a 6 of one and half a dozen of another. I got picked to hold the secret because my friend knew I would grieve with them or rejoice with them as everything progressed (to a happy baby boy just this month!)

After the first trimester it was pretty obvious. I know some of our circle of friends were confused and a bit hurt she had not told them but it wasn't a "huge" deal most understood.

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