Nicole - posted on 07/25/2016 ( no moms have responded yet )
When I married my husband he was not involved in the fire service or ems, at all. He joined later knowing that I was leery how it would affect our lives. We have six children and own a business together. I stopped being a stay at home mom, so I could work at our office and help support our family. I have tried to not be jealous of the department and I would tell myself that all of the training and calls were a service to the community and I should be glad that such an amazing man would give so freely of himself. I participate in fundraisers and attend auxiliary meetings with the hope that I can soften my heart and maybe find a common ground on which to save my marriage and family. Our business was his dream, not mine. I told him I would support him in whatever way I could. When he joined the volunteer fire department, I asked only two things of him. "Please don't throw away all that we have dedicated to the success of our business and please try to make sure that the children and I don't get the left overs of you." In truth, the fire department family that he has, will always get the best of him. He is a great man, I don't want it to appear that he is not. He used to at least fake listen to me, but now he will actively get up and walk away while I'm in mid sentence. We have argued about the department and he will never leave either of us.
Our business has suffered every time the tones drop and he runs out the door with loose ends not tied up. He has stayed gone entire work days, while our customers are waiting on bids and action plans. I do what I can, but truly our business is what it is, because of him. His part in our daily operations is huge to the success or failure of our company.
I never wanted to marry a fireman, policeman, truck driver or preacher. There is nothing wrong with these professions and they are noble for sure. I just know that I'm not one who can handle instability. I like safety and routine. He knew this when we married and assured me that he was not going to pursue any one of those professions.
I feel selfish because I know that the children and I are getting the left overs from the fire department and ems. My heart is broken because I love my husband and I'm tired of feeling like I am watching him love his mistress and tolerate me. I try to hold it all together so he can fulfill his dream, but I feel like he has maybe forgotten that we were suppose to dream together.
Just looking for some other ladies who maybe have felt the same way at some point.