anyone up for a chat?

Sam - posted on 08/11/2013 ( no moms have responded yet )




so, my names Sam. i'm 18 and my little boy will be 7 weeks tomorrow.

i only met my boyfriend 11 months ago but we clicked straight away and we soon started seeing each other. about a month into the relationship he told me his ex girlfriend was pregnant, he was only with her for a couple of months but it was still a major shock for me. i didn't think i could be with someone who has a baby with someone else, i kept getting all these pictures and thoughts of them getting back together once their baby arrived, even though he kept telling me he didn't have any feelings for her and it wasn't going to happen - but once i get an idea like that in my head it sticks.

so eventually our relationship fizzled out. fast forward a month later and i find out that i'm pregnant too! didn't find out till i was almost 8 weeks in as i was on the pill so it never crossed my mind. at first i was wary of telling Dan (baby's dad), as i hadn't really spoken to him since we broke up and i wasn't sure what he'd say. but my mum convinced me that i had to tell him, so i did. by text. not my finest idea but i was too much of a coward to do it in person. at first he was angry, then i didn't hear from him for a few days. then he suggested we meet to talk about it all. the spark between us was still there so we decided to give our relationship another go. he came to both my scans, we went baby shopping and he seemed to be quite into the idea. but i was still quite jealous that he'd be having a baby with his ex first.

now Dan lives 2 hours away so it became harder to see each other and when me and my mum started falling out i went to stay with him and his parents. it was fine at first, but i soon learnt that he hadn't told many people i was pregnant, they all knew his ex was. so that made me think that maybe he was embarrassed of me or something?

i don't even know. but fasti forward to 5 weeks before my due date and i start showing signs of pre eclampsia. so i have 2 check ups a week to keep an eye on things and i get admitted into hospital at 39 weeks and booked in to be induced the next day. the birth was horrific, luckily my mum was there to support me as Dan was a bit useless tbh.

last week my son was diagnosed with meningitis. thankfully he's okay now and will be home on tuesday but the doctors were very worried when first came in. we moved out of dan's parents house and into our own little flat this week too. i love it, our own little place, but i'm 2 hours away from my friends and family. i don't know anyone here and sometimes i just feel so alone, like i'm doing this all by myself.

so anyone in a similar situation, i'm always up for a chat:)

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