Anything wrong with a father taking care of daughters personal care?

Elizabeth - posted on 05/18/2016 ( 7 moms have responded )




We have a both physically and mentally disabled 15 year old daughter. She is mentally more around 5. And needs lots of help with bathing, cleaning etc. I work and am the breadwinner and as such my husband stays home to take care of our daughter. I have been getting criticism from others, even at work about allowing my husband to take care of her as he does. They get along great and even though physically she is mature and is going through every other issue girls that age do (breasts, periods, etc.) they get along well.

I am glad my husband is there to help but I really hate all the negativity I am getting for it.

Yes, he does bathe her, change her pads, dress her, feeds her, etc. but she is always happy to be with him.


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[deleted account]

I am the mother of a special needs child. NO ONE knows what you and your husband go through on a daily basis. NO ONE should be giving you advice unless they have walked in your shoes.

If or when their parents are elderly and need help with self-care, are they going to be worried about this sort of thing? Absolutely not!

Ev - posted on 08/15/2016




I have to agree with the others on all points. He is her father and he is doing this because he loves her and wants the best for her. IT is hard for strangers to come to your home and do the same things even though they are professionals and have been trained for this and had all the background checks that can be done. Nothing beats a family member who can do the same thing and whom you trust most.

Fay - posted on 08/15/2016




I think that if you as her mother are comfortable with her father bathing her and changing her pads etc, and you trust that all he is doing is being a good father, it shouldn't matter what ppl think and say. If however you had any doubt in your mind, it would be a different story.

~♥Little Miss - posted on 08/15/2016




I would just stop discussing personal issues with others. Quite frankly, it is none of their business. In fact, when people inquire, tell them it is none of their business, unless they are offering themselves to do dads job free of charge.

Michelle - posted on 08/15/2016




It's sad that a Father can't look after his own daughter without people thinking the worst.
Ignore the narrow minded idiots that assume the worst instead of seeing a Father caring for his disabled daughter. I think it's great that your husband is stepping up and caring for your daughter since he helped create her.

Elizabeth - posted on 08/15/2016




Thanks! That is my thoughts as well. I really appreciate what my husband does, and how much he has learned to help taking care of her. I have told them that's just how it is but they continue to make comments.

He knows how to get her dressed, help her with bathing etc. Yet I know I wouldn't feel better just because a strange woman was doing it.

Sarah - posted on 05/18/2016




I don't know why people will choose to think the worst of a situation. This is her father, do you have any reason to doubt her safety? Women can molest children too, it isn't a males only club. She needs help, he is there and able to do it, what is wrong about that? You could hire a health aide who could be a male, and then you'd have a stranger taking care of her intimate issues.

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