are first time mothers not capable of looking after there own child

Melissa - posted on 01/07/2010 ( 11 moms have responded )

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why is it that 2nd time or 3rd time mums think they know it ALL i mean how is it that any other pearson knows somebody elses child to be giving advice about how to raise them

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Mel - posted on 04/26/2011

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agreed. Dont you love those know it alls :) Mummy instincts are generally right. The people who spend the most time around your baby would be cloest to udnerstanidng your baby, but not someone who has just had more kids. I might know alot about reflux babies or FTT babies, and I can give advice to some extent , but unless your really around that baby you cant really determine whats going on. If your reffering to people who are just giving you advice because your a first time mum. Most people do just fine being left alone to learn things for themselves

OhJessie - posted on 04/26/2011

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Yep, you have to take the advice you can use and throw away the rest. It doesn't hurt to at least weigh the advice of people who've been there and would like to help; including older people with grown children who are still close to them. Sometimes they have more to offer than you might think! And anything you can't use, you already know what to do with.

Jane - posted on 01/10/2010

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Sometimes these vet. moms are just trying to help. Take the advice you think you need & leave the rest. Try not to be too sensitive, I just had my 2nd child & get advice but I'm not offended by it @ all. I think some 1st times mom's get their nose bent out of shape for no reason other then someone just trying to help them.

Jodie - posted on 01/10/2010

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i feel like alot of other parents who have had 2 or 3 children talk down to me not only cos im a teen mother but cos im a first time mother, i understand that they want to give me advice and all but sometimes i feel like telling them that i completely dissagree with their parenting technique and i feel like their underminding me, I think the reason behind it is cos we have just gone in to this completely unaware of what happens so they think oh ill tell them how to cope and it just doesnt help at all. I would just ignor them and take advice from who you thinks best x

Jaime - posted on 01/09/2010

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If you don't like what someone says to you about childrearing then tell them to back off...but don't complain about it and assume that every time someone gives you advice that it's because they think you're incapable. You're a mother and you need to be mature enough to pick your battles!

Nicola - posted on 01/09/2010

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hmmm I certainly recall this feeling. once you are pregnant everyone has a horror story, once your baby is born everyone has some advice. Some people make a living out of publishing that advice.

Like everything else in life, just recognise that everyone has an experience they want to share, some stories will have value to you and others will just be stories and experiences.

collect them all and sort through them and just take on board the ideas that sound good and feel right.

Rebecca - posted on 01/09/2010

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What i'm personally sick of is first time moms who think they know it all. Yes i have 2 kids but i sure as hell dopn't know everything there is to know. There are other moms on here who have plenty more years experience with kids of all ages but it drives me nuts when a new mom asks for advice, i give it and then other new moms attack my PERSONAL decision to do something. It is the way i do and i'm jsut passing on how i do it not putting the items in your hand and forcing you to do it. Some really need to get a grip and realize that this group is for getting advice, not so you can brag about how you "know it all". If you ask for advice, be ready for some responses, they aren't all going to be nice and they might not be the answer you want.

[deleted account]

Its probably because we have raised 2 or 3 kids been through most of what you are going through or about to. If you dont want advice from other moms tell them to butt out its your baby make your own mistakes like we all did and learn from them. Also if you resent people giving you advice what are you doing on here?

Sharon - posted on 01/09/2010

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rotfl - oh brother. Did someone hurt your feelings? Now now, we're all adults - well, some of us are.

Sherre - posted on 01/09/2010

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I think they may be more opinionated because they were mom's longer but whether you're pregnant, just had a baby, or you've had a few kids, as long as your giving the baby what he needs, you're the only one who has any say in his/her life. If you want advice, you shouldn't be afraid to ask but YOU know YOUR child.

[deleted account]

All Second and Third time moms are not all the same, so if they are giving you advice on how to raise your child, they are either trying to be nice and helpful, thinking you dont know, or they are one of those moms who think they know EVERYTHING and theirs no other way but theirs. But the truth is every child is different. Dont worry your the mom and you will do what you feel is right anyway :). Listen to advice if you need it, evaluate, and then make your own decisions. Hope this helps.

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