Christine - posted on 11/21/2013 ( 4 moms have responded )
I have two kids. Girl 10 Boy 11. Their father and I are now divorced. I am remarried. Their Dad lives with his girlfriend and her two kids girl 11 boy 14. I will refer to them as step kids to make things easier. At first my kids were fine, happy and well adjusted. In the last few months (maybe longer) things at their Dads house have been getting bad. His step son has been caught doing drugs, drinking and self mutilation. the step son has at times been mean to my daughter by picking on her, yelling at her and telling her she has to do all the cleaning. (Pretty "normal" stuff for a teenage boy) Now things are getting worse. My son and the step son seem to get along but now the step some is pushing my son, hitting him, pushed him down on the buss (all the kids laughed at my son) and the big event was the step son got mad at my son for something and grabed an airsoft gun and began shooting at my son. My son ran to his room locked his door climbed out on the roof to hide and call his father (who was out hunting behnd the house). My Ex is very upset of course and tries to deal with the situations but not sure if its working. when the step son got caught doing drugs my ex grounded him but two days later when my ex went to hunting camp the step sons mom took him off grounding an gave him back everything that got taken away. My kids tell me these things so I only have this info to go by. Im not there and my ex does not tell me these things. My kids tell me that the step sons mom does not discipline her kids, my ex does but then she turns around and makes excuses as to why my ex is too hard on them.
I understand blended families can be hard but this just seems crazy. My son now wants to stay after school so he does nto have to go to his dads house after school until an adult is there. He is afraid of his step brother. My son is not even 5 foot ( maybe 4'7 and the step brother is 6'0!!! the step brother has no interest in anything at all but video games. He has a history of problems in school and it just seems to be getting worse. I understand young teens are a different breed at times and go through things but this kid has now made it so my kids don't want to be there.
I have not brought this up to my ex as from what I am being told by my kids he is doing what he can to handle it. But being shot at (even an air soft gun) and hiding a on a roof is a bit extreme. What if the kids finds a way to get a hold of the real guns in the house (my ex hunts). What if this is a kid that needs help and not normal boy behavior? I don't want to cause problems or be in my ex's business but these are my kids too. My ex is trying but his girlfriend seems to be the one who is not really doing much about it. And shes a really nice person. I don't have anything against her at all.
Not sure what to do at this point.
Oh and my son tells this info to my spouse not me. He is afraid if he tells me I will call his Dad and he does not want us to fight. He does not want to make problems for anyone.