Are their any other mothers that gave their baby away for adoption or temporary custody?

Marissa - posted on 09/05/2013 ( 2 moms have responded )




I'm still in high school. I had to give away my son to my sister because I don't have a car, job or suitable home. My father hates my son and wants nothing to do with him and even recommended that I get an abortion at the beginning of my pregnancy. I can't live with my dad and raise the baby because of this. I want to keep him but I can't. I want to do temporary custody but I don't want to hurt my sister's feelings. She thinks we're doing adoption. She can't have anymore children because she had complications with her first child's birth and had to have her uterus removed. My son was born August 26, 2013 and my sister and I have each grown a bond with the little guy. I love him so much and I don't want to give him up, but I know it's the best thing for him. I'm also experiencing severe depression because of everything. Coping is really hard for me right now. Any advice?


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Sarah - posted on 09/05/2013




Did you do any birth parent counseling before your son was born? If you did I would suggest contacting your counselor. If you did not I would suggest that you do that. You can call any adoption agency or crisis pregnancy center and they can get you set up with one.....most of the time there is no charge to you for the counseling. Being depressed is VERY normal and expected when you place a child for adoption. It is a loss and you have to grieve that loss. Seeing a counselor can help you work through that loss.

I agree with Cecilla that you need to sit down with your sister and things need to be discussed. One thing you do need to think about is what is best for your son. As you stated that you did not want to place him for adoption, but you know that that is what is best for him. Would it be best for him to bond and attach and feel like his home is with someone and then be taken away from that years or even months down the road? How would he feel? Would this be what is best for him? Right now I know it seems like that is the answer, but the answer for who? It helps with the pain you feel having that possibility of having him back. It helps you get through the day. But imagine the pain your son will feel when he no longer gets to live with the family that he has bonded to and calls mom and dad. Is that fair for him?

You have done an amazing thing for your son! There is no greater love then the love you have given. Get hooked up with a birth parent counselor. Many times they also have other birth parents you can talk to and even events and retreats for birth parents.

Cecilia - posted on 09/05/2013




I think you and your sister need to sit down right away and discuss what is going on. Waiting to tell her she isn't going to adopt him is only going to make it worse. It should have been done before he was born. Everything needs to be written down. Such as your plan for when you will take him. All the things you need to have in place to be able to do that, such as, your own place. Everyone should have expectations written down and it should be done together with your sister so she has input since she is needed right now.

As far as the depression, call you OB and get medication now. It might not just be the situation doing it but many women suffer from depression because of hormone changes and it can get much worse. It can take 3 months for medication to start working so do it now.

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