Katie - posted on 07/13/2016 ( 6 moms have responded )
I have 2 boys (ages 4 and 12) and we live with my husband of 2 years and his daughter (she is 12). His daughter was adopted by my husband out of foster care when he and his ex-wife were married. His ex-wife has nothing to do with her. My stepdaughter has been diagnosed with reactive attachment disorder, possibly oppositional defiance disorder, anxiety, depression, and ADHD. She is this amazing little girl to everyone she meets. She is scary and manipulative behind closed doors. I have found weapons in her room, most recently I found a pair of sharp scissors that she took apart to make into knives, she found metal tubes and bit them to make them into sharp knives. She is also violently impulsive at times. She tried to pull her sister on the top bunk by putting a jump rope around her neck. She poured dirt on my 4 year old's head so he had trouble breathing. She plays "dumb" in that she doesn't have a reason for this or didn't know how the weapons got there. She is a compulsive liar and lies about everything. She steals. Most recently she stole a library book. When her dad and I took it away from her she wrote a note and ripped it up. We put the pieces together and it said "My family is a bunch of fucking little bitches. They took the library book away that I was reading and I stole it last year and not this year. I fucking hate them." She also has a weird relationship with her dad. I know that she wants me and my boys gone so that it can just be the two of them. She is super loving and touching with him. He has talked with her and her therapist expressing how uncomfortable he is. She is manipulative and tries to get me in trouble with my husband. She has no boundaries. She has a terrible attitude with me. What I am doing....going to therapy, talking to my husband about everything, but there seems to be a disconnect. She was supposed to be in therapy camp all summer but she didn't like it and my husband got worried so he pulled her out and said we would find another camp (they're all full). I told him today that if she is not going to camp he will have to find classes for her to keep her busy and away from the other kids during the summer. She is dealing with normal preteen behaviors, but then she's dealing with some really bizarre behaviors that I think my husband has just gotten used to. I am not ok with her being in the home. I worry at night that she is going to wake up and kill one of us in our sleep. Then I think maybe I am overreacting. But I have learned to trust my gut over the years and something isn't right. I just can't get my husband to ACT on getting her help.