Argumentative teen

Kristen Moritz - posted on 02/04/2016 ( 3 moms have responded )

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Am looking for suggestions to cope with my 14 year old son's argumentative behavior. He is a button pusher and likes to have the last word. Telling him to stop or to go to his room seems to have limited effect. I try to keep very good boundaries and let him know when he is getting out of line. But the behavior continues. I often end up yelling and I want to do so much better. Side note: I have none of these issues with my other 14 year old son, one of the few things that allows me to believe I'm not a horrible parent!

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Dove - posted on 02/05/2016

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I am very afraid for when my almost 8 year old son becomes a teen. He is very stubborn and will argue nonstop when he gets it into his head that something is right (even when it's completely wrong). I will calmly tell him the truth a time or two, so that he has heard it... but then I just tell him 'fine, I'm not discussing it anymore' because history has taught me that I will not 'win' the discussion... and life isn't about arguing w/ my kid. lol

If he won't go off to his room and drop it... maybe you can walk away to YOUR room or something.

Kristen Moritz - posted on 02/05/2016

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Thank you, Raye. I guess you're right- there is nothing that says he can't have the last word. Going to work to be kind of Zen with that.

Raye - posted on 02/04/2016

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Is there something wrong with giving him the last word? Sometimes you have to pick your battles, and that seems like a nit-picky thing to get disgruntled about. I'm sure there's more to it... but you didn't elaborate...

Just be quick, consistent, and firm with consequences. He will push boundaries, and you have to let him know exactly where the limits of those boundaries are. if you have made a decision, and he tries to argue, then stop him. Tell him there is no discussion, decision is made, it's done. Then ignore any further attempts to argue unless he gets in your face or gets violent. Then send him to his room with no phone/games/privileges, or whatever consequences you would have for that behavior. Yelling really doesn't help.

You're not a horrible parent. Hang in there.

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