Ask moms for advice

Airam - posted on 09/26/2012 ( 3 moms have responded )




My husband is addicted already to drugs. In fact, sometimes, he uses it inside our bedroom with my son is also inside. I tried to stop him from using drugs, but instead, he told me he wants to break up with me. He even told me he misses his old life when he was still single. He wants to have his freedom back. When he told me that, I felt like I was stabbed by a knife in my heart. He does'nt like me to stop him from going out to use drugs and partying with women....I want to file for annulment but I don't have money or job yet....For now, I am still dependent on him...What should I do?


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Ashley - posted on 09/27/2012




Take your child and go to a safe home. They will help you get back on your feet. You dont need him. He is going to end up getting your child taken away especially doing drugs in the same house. What would you do if yoyr child found the drugs? Also when your in the same room as someone smoking any drug it will show up in your hair. What is more important? Him supporting you when you lose your kid? Or finding a wsy to support your kid in a healthy environment? Its tough being a single mom especially with no job, houst, car...bur there are resources and places that would gladly help you. Women stay all the time because the man is the sole supporter, but that is not a good reason when yoy are endangering your child by staying. My fiance was addicted to meth and shooting it up, it made him a differant person and he didnt care who he hurt as long as he got his next fiix. So I packed up all 3 of my kids one day y he was gone and had a friend come get me. We moved 3 hours away with no money, no family, jusy my ppne friend and her kids. When he realized he lost his family and we werent coming back til he got help he did what he had too to gwt clean. He went to meetings, he took drug tests to prove he was clean, he lost all contact with all his so calked friends who did it with him or gave it to him. He had alot of proving to do, but im glad to say he finally did it and our family is back together and happier than ever. Maybe your husband needs a wake up call too. But either way, you need to get out of there like now. The longer you stay the more you are endangering your child.

Bobbie - posted on 09/27/2012




Chances are he wants to use all the money for drugs. He isn't stable when using them and he could hurt you or son if he becomes angry while under the influence. So there is a quick way to get the security and safety you and your child deserve.

IN THE SAME DAY - I would suggest you go to the bank and see what funds are available. Remove what you need to start, if you possibly can. Take the amount of rent/mortgage, cost of bills coming due such as cable, electricity and car payment, as well as money for food costs for one month. Then go to the Sheriffs department and file an (X-Par-TA) order against him. I don't know how you spell it but I went with a girlfriend who felt in fear of her husband and wanted to be safe in her own home while the divorce was settled. This order is filed to keep him from the home. The Sheriff will arrange a safe removal of your husband and his belongings from the home. He can't contact you, be at the home or remove anything from the home (apartment) until the order is addressed and a separation agreement is filed. So it will be in his best interest to pay for and file a separation agreement. Until then, let him go back to the street. The day he leaves you can file for child support, public assistance for food and WIC to get you by.

Jodi - posted on 09/26/2012




So break up with him and take your child. Sorry, but that environment is toxic and no place to raise a child. Do you have family you can go to? Friends? What country do you live in - do they have a welfare system, do they have women's shelters? Just until you can get on your feet? Also, start documenting EVERYTHING about his drug taking, because you obviously don't want your child visiting that type of environment, so if he sues for visitation, you need evidence as to why that is not a good idea unless it is supervised.

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