Asking for child support to the father that is not on the Birth Certificate.

S - posted on 01/26/2015 ( 14 moms have responded )

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When I found out I was pregnant with my son more than 8 years ago, the biological father didn't want him. (We were also quite young at the time too) After telling me to abort the baby, I said no and he left. When I was 5 months pregnant, I ended up meeting someone, who eventually was there for me and acted as my son's father. He was there from appointments, to birth of the baby to raising him as his own. 4 years later, I put his name on the birth certificate. 2 years after that, he ended up becoming a casino addict and we broke up.
I have been raising my son on my own for 2 years, and Money has been much tighter than I thought it would be, and I am looking for child support. I have asked for support from the ex bf who is on the birth certificate, but now he says he's broke and wants his name off the certificate to avoid me asking for child support and would like me to pursue asking the real dad for support. I am considering this too. More so for education wise. My son is now 8 years old and I have not asked for a single penny from him (the bio dad).
My question is, is this situation possible to fix? Is it possible for me to ask the biological father for support? If I do, does that mean he will get custody of him? I need to know what he pros and cons are of all this. I want to go to see the Maintenance Enforcement people, but the birth certificate is what's holding me back.
If someone can please help me out, I would appreciate it. Thank you.

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Ev - posted on 01/26/2015

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It is not legal to put someone one there that is not the actual father. I do not know what people think when they do this stupid act. It can cause a lot of hardship for them later in court once caught.

♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 01/26/2015

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Well, I was encouraged until your last statement: "If there is a chance he can get custody or partial...I may not pursue"...

Honey, sorry, but you slept with the man, and together you created a child. He quite obviously does know about the kid, and from the sounds of it, would probably like to be the father. He's got every right in this world to file his own petitions for custody, etc, and state that you've willfully kept the child from him. And, at this point, he'd technically have a case.

Your best legal bet is to establish paternity and get a custody and support order in motion. If he does want visitation, he's got the right to request it. A lot of men, initially, panic and don't want the baby, only to change their minds and grow up...

Jen - posted on 01/26/2015

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You can ask for child support and it won't effect the custody since there not in your son's life but, to ask which dad to get support from is hard cause you didn't put the bio dad on the certificate. I would say to ask a lawyer about what to do about that for they will help you with what to do but you can ask for support.

Jen - posted on 01/26/2015

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It's always best to get legal help from a lawyer for they will help but if your ex boyfriend only sees him for a few weeks at a time then you my just have either joint custody or you may have full with visitation but defiantly talk to a lawyer

Ledia - posted on 01/26/2015

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If you are in the US, you need to talk to a lawyer. It is illegal to knowingly put someone's name on the birth certificate who is not the biological father. If he legally adopted your son, that is different, and he could still be held accountable for child support, but his name still wouldn't be on the Birth Certificate because only biological parent's names are to be on the birth certificate.

Disregarding all of that, if you want support from the biological father, you can file for child support from him through family court. Because he is not on the birth certificate, you will have to prove paternity, which means that you will pay for a DNA test, if he refuses to take one, you can have one court ordered. Then the court will make a ruling on how much support he is responsible for. Child support and custody are two separate things, so your child support ruling will not affect your custody agreement. However, if you do not have a court ordered custody agreement yet, the biological father will have the same custody rights you do once he proves paternity, so it is best to file for custody as well as support.

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Sarah - posted on 01/26/2015

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You've admitted to paternity fraud, and that may come with some scary consequences. I promise you though, it will be better if you make things right very soon. Having the wrong person listed on the birth certificate entitles your child to things that are not his by birthright. Conversely, what would be his by birthright, he will be denied because the wrong man is listed. It is not fair for anyone, including your child. Fix it. then pursue support.

Sarah - posted on 01/26/2015

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The birth certificate is a legal document and you supplied false information knowingly.
http://www.cic.gc.ca/english/information...
Get an attorney to get that fixed. It will be better if you are proactive and amend the birth certificate, rather than have the ex boyfriend bring it up. After that is fixed, you'll probably have to petition for a paternity test and then file for support form the bio-dad. I can't imagine the ex-boyfriend being held accountable to support a child he did not father nor adopt.

S - posted on 01/26/2015

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I live in Canada. I was able to add my boyfriend to his birth certificate without a paternity test. I just went to the registry office and wanted to add him and they made me fill out papers and and sign and pay $30 and that was it. Gosh, this is worrying me as I didn't fully understand that it could be seen as illegal. My boyfriend and I raised my son. Raised him as his own and we were a good family until we broke. It's unfortunate I didn't see this coming. I should have known better. Thank you. I will have to see a lawyer about this. At least my ex boyfriend (the one who is on the B.C.), him and I still get along and he sees our son once every couple of weeks. The bio dad seen his son about a year ago. We were at a grocery store and he ended up seeing him and knew right away that he was his--he looks just like him as well. He ended up buying a bunch of toys while we were at Wal-Mart and gave it to him. At the time I didn't care seeing him nor was I going to introduce or initiate a conversation with him as his bio dad, but he came up to us and I just told my son that it was an old friend from before. After that time, we have never seen him again.
But no matter what, I am guessing seeing a lawyer is the best bet. Thank you everyone for your comments. It is very difficult for me to post something like this, as I am uncomfortable sharing too personal information on the internet. But I appreciate your comments. If there is a chance he can get custody or partial or whatever it may be- I may not pursue anything and just try to make things meet.

Trisha - posted on 01/26/2015

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Get a lawyer. I had one male friend who told me that his Ex-wife, who he didn't have any biological children with was requesting child support for him, since he had been supporting her children for the past 6 years. She wasn't working.
I am not saying what she did is right, but you could still get support from the 'Dad' on the birth certificate.
You will never know how this situation will turn out.

♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 01/26/2015

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First, how were you even able to add your boyfriend to a birth certificate without proving his paternity? Serious red flags already...

Establish paternity, and then ask for support. REALIZE that support and custody/visitation are not the same, and UNDERSTAND that, if you pursue support, you can expect to have visitation and eventually possibly shared custody granted. The street goes both ways. You want support, he'll probably want to be involved with the kid.

Dove - posted on 01/26/2015

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You really need to talk to a lawyer. In some areas there are serious legal repercussions to putting some other name on a birth certificate.

You will need a paternity test in order to pursue anything w/ the bio father... and yes, he could pursue custody and visitation. He could have done that at anytime in the past 8 years as well, so the fact that he hasn't 'might' go in your favor. Then again... he could get bitter about you going after him for money after all this time and lie to the court saying he didn't know his son existed and you have kept them apart all this time...

Good luck!

Sarah - posted on 01/26/2015

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In order to get child support you will need to prove paternity. So a dna test will need to be done. Once that is established then you can receive child support. Once paternity is also established if the father wants to go for visitation or custody he can so do so. It would be up to the court as to it he would get visitation or custody or nothing at all. Most likely they would order visitation.

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