Asking for thoughts about family responses to grandchild (who technically is my step-grandchild)

Ashley - posted on 05/14/2012 ( 8 moms have responded )

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I have a granddaughter that I adore. I shared a sweet pic of her with me; I shared it with my dad, brother, & sis & with my grandbaby's mom & dad Sis just came onto facebook and added a comment that she is my 'step-grandbaby'. Though it may not have been intended as hurtful, it stung a bit, basically, I just don't see it as necessary as labeling her 'step' anything. I adore her and she is related to my younger children, they are her true family, and as far as I'm concerned she is my true family, just not by blood for me. I just don't want to start this pattern. - just wondering would you respond? ignore it? delete it? My sis & I have never been incredibly close - and I don't want to further put a rift between us.

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Jodi - posted on 05/14/2012

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"The bond that links your true family is not one of blood, but of respect and joy in each other's life."

~ Richard Bach



Respond with that. It says it all. Nothing else needs to be said.

Erin - posted on 05/14/2012

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Ignore it. To delete it or respond to it could put a wedge between you and your sister. It doesn't matter what other people say, what matters is what's in your heart and what your granddaughter feels. There are sometimes I feel the same with my family. My mother is of the school that if you are not related to someone by blood they are not true family. Which I don't understand because then my dad is not her family... I haven't brought this up to her because I don't feel it's worth the fight. On the other hand, my husband's mother is the one I go to for advice a lot of the time. I call her Mom (as well as my own mom, so it can be confusing sometimes. :D). Add to that, I call my father-in-law Dad. Although he is technically my step-father-in-law because he's technically my husband's step-dad and I have never met my husband's sperm donor of a biological father (not a nice guy). According to my Mom, I have inlaws. According to what is in my heart, I have two sets of parents. It's not worth the drama it would create to explain it to my mom so I just ignore her responses and know that my other Mom knows how I feel. Sorry if this got long and complicated; I just wanted to explain that I know it can sting and that letting go is better than creating drama, wedges, or rifts.

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Jodi - posted on 05/14/2012

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I actually used that particular quote doing up a photo collage for my wall, full of pictures of our blended family. I made it when my youngest daughter was born, completing our family. The quote just fit our situation perfectly, with both of us having children from previous relationships, and now we have one together as well, and they are all our children, just as their kids will be all our grandchildren.

Ashley - posted on 05/14/2012

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Great quote, Jodi! I think I'm going to print a copy of that and hang it on my fridge too!!!

♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 05/14/2012

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Ashley, sounds to me like you may have a jealous sister.

Don't respond to her, just enjoy that baby! Baby won't care if she's "step" or not...Unless someone with no class points it out...

S. - posted on 05/14/2012

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I would reply with exactly what you have put on here, it's not being funny or bitchy it's a beautiful thing to say and very refreshing. I wish my mil was more like you with my oldest daughter (her step granddaughter)

Ashley - posted on 05/14/2012

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Thanks Erin, that is helpful! Funny - my mom-in-law has always told me to just call her mom too! I really appreciate the advice. My sister and I just have never been close - I wish we were - but she just doesn't really seem to want to be closer. Thanks again!

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