Aspergers

Leah - posted on 08/09/2015 ( 5 moms have responded )

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Hi my name is Leah, I have been married for 17yrs and have 6 boys, I had my two oldest boys diagnosed with aspergers 5 yrs ago but didnt really feel they had it but need funding for my second oldest who has severe learning difficults. I have recently realised and so has my oldest son who is nearly 16 yrs old that he really does have it. I have also thought my husband has had it but had him tested at a university as it was cheaper and they said he was too smart to have it, mmmm aspergers people are smart. Anyway I am just really at my limit. I have struggled in my marriage for 17yrs now as my husband is so black and white and I have felt controlled and like my life has too be so rigid and my oldest son sometime is fabulous and shares his music with me and his great with his little brothers and other times he yells at me will not talk and isolates himself. My husband and my oldest son have not been getting along as my husband discipline is forcing and controlling and my son is now at the age where he isnt doing what dad says and now my husband wants to kick him out of the house and I am feeling torn. so much going on my head is going to explode and so much i am tryign to understand. I dont feel my husband is reasonable or understand and he doesnt listen to my opinion and does it his way. My son has only been at school 50% this year and has been sick in bed for all of term one and now he is home today and had a day of the last week and it seems to be triggered by his dad coming down on him.

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Sarah - posted on 08/11/2015

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If your husband is a rule follower, then he know he can't kick a 16 yo out of the house. Can you give an example of what your husband wants your son to do, that he won't do?

Leah - posted on 08/11/2015

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He has really been sick, had brain scans, blood tests, just sleeps. He isnt passing and hasnt done any school work all year and is going to have to repeat. he has had therapy to help him cope with his emotions. I didnt realise how black and white he was when we were dating. My son had to wait until he was 15 to watch a M rated movie it was a week before he was 15 and I really wanted to take him to the movies with his cousins that were over for Saudi Arabi and some of them were only 10 and 12 but my husand would not let him come with me as he was 1 week of 15

Sarah - posted on 08/11/2015

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I don't know where you live, but you can't just kick a 16 yo out, especially one with SN. How has your son been able to pass his classes if he is home 50% of the year? When you say sick in bed, is he really sick or just being a lazy teen. Did your son have any behavioral therapy as a younger child? What difference does it make if your husband as a spectrum disorder or not? He was an adult when you met him and has probably been black and white your whole relationship, so why is that a problem all of a sudden?

Leah - posted on 08/11/2015

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my song did get the funding but it was only to have an extra teachers aid in the playground to help me manage when the games didnt go his way. My other son with learning difficulties only used his own funding, the school decides not me but I was just saying that i didnt know how to help him, I have had him in counselling, I have had him a rage program, I have seen clincial physcologists for weely appointments, I have been trying.

♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 08/11/2015

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So, you took funding that was to have been used for your eldest children, used it on a younger child, and now are wondering why your eldest is acting out, when he had a condition that is perfectly manageable, WHEN RECOGNIZED AND MANAGED, but is now a butt because he wasn't taught to manage his condition?

I guess you could try counseling, and teaching ALL of your children how to manage their aspberger's condition for starters.

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