At my wits end with my Teenage son

Miria - posted on 07/29/2013 ( 1 mom has responded )




Hi there, I am a new member just joined a few minutes ago. I came across this website after doing some researching on finding out options regarding my son.
He has the worse attitude lately and has no respect for me or the rules in this house. He doesn't do any chores, and when asked to do anything he gets more of an attitude.

We found out he is smoking pit, and the bad attitude seems to have started from this, and mixed by a combination of hormones.

He doesn't open up and talk to me about anything, and stays out with his friends all weekend, and when he is home he stays in his room.
He claims that the drugs calms him down, and releases stress, and his not addicted to it. Of course I know better.

I don't know what else to do with him, call police, have him arrested? Am I over worried or should I be more worried that this road his heading towards is the start of more nightmares? Any input would be appreciated.


♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 07/29/2013




Ok, first of all, did he actually really suddenly stop doing everything that he was supposed to?

Or are the things that he's not doing things that you would like him to do, but up until a short time ago were not his responsibility? (Household chores, etc)

Because, TBH, kids have attitude. They all do it, whether they're in an upstanding christian home and they are as christian as they come, or whether they're from the slums. They are testing things. Now, as a minor, you can require that he stop the drug. You can also drug test him to make sure he's clean.

Marijuana is NOT addictive physically. It is mentally enticing, but there are no physical addiction symptoms, nor any withdrawal, other than grumpiness.

Now, how long has he been hanging with his buddies with no curfew? What rules and expectations were held to him when he was under 16 vs over 16? Have those rules changed, become more demanding, or unreasonable? (Unreasonable in that perhaps a kid has never done a chore in his life, and all of a sudden he's expected to be 'cinderella')

Tell him to stop smoking. Tell him you'll test him for that, and other illicit substances. Explain again what his place in your family is, what is expected of him, what is required, and what he's got leeway on. If he truly doesn't wanna quit smoking, well, there's a simple deal for that: you turn him in, and let the cops give him the usual deal of "tell me where you get it, and we'll let this one stay off the books" (or possibly some probation time).

And, when his friends are in the home, you let them know that they're expected to adhere to house rules as well, and remove any who don't.

Mine are 16 & 19. My 19 YO is moving out in a week, my 16 YO will blatantly tell his friends: "my mom's rules are A, B, & C. If you don't like them, I recommend you leave now before she catches you..." I will not hesitate to kick a kid out of my home that is violating my rules.

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