Erin - posted on 06/22/2015 ( 6 moms have responded )
Hi, i have a question regarding my 5 year old son. His father and i separated about 3 years ago, his father moved interstate and has had no contact with him for approx 2 years. No birthdays, no xmas no nothing. We have now moved to the same state and his father and i discussed a plan of contact, we stated with phone/ skype, however our son quickly got bored with this, i offered suggestions to his father about things to talk about etc to help keep the converstation going but he refused each time, he just could not hold a conversation with him. Our son is quite bright and i communicate with him as i would an adult at times (please dont judge). But becuase his father has lost the connection with him, he talks to him like he still the 2 year old he left years ago. Anyway, his father wants physical contact with him, something which i have never denied him at all, but when i talk to our son about it, he says he doesnt want to see him, he doesnt want to talk to him/ skype him either. My question is how old should a child be to make these desicions, i know the legal age etc, but should i force him to have contact with his dad, my thoughts are that for the last 3 years he has had a picture of who his dad is, and when he spoke with him via phone/ skype this didnt match his picture, so he hasnt made a connection with his dad. Iv encouraged phone calls, skype calls and often ask if he wants to see him, but the answer is always no. Im not sure what to do! Im sure his dad thinks i am purposfully denying contact, but each night i ask our son if he wants to speak to him, and each night he says no, so i just let his dad know that he doesnt feel like it tonight. Anyways, back to my question! Should i be forcing/ strongly encouraging him to physically see his dad at age 5 or letting him decide when its right for him?