at what age is it okay for girls to really start dating?

Chervocka - posted on 10/07/2009 ( 28 moms have responded )

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so my daughter thinks shes old enough to date. do you think sixteen is okay or should i make her wait?

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JACKIE - posted on 06/08/2013

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My daughter is 16 and is dating a 18 year old boy she met at the gym . Her father is very upset he has punished her to her room not to see this boy. She is crying and so bent d out of shape. I think she will do something not right . What do I do /

Isadora - posted on 05/07/2013

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I think 12 to 13 is okay , I started dating when I was 12 and when I was 13 I met my husband now. I am very glad that my mum let me date at this age or I would never have met Harry. But I think it is entirely your decision

Jessica - posted on 10/08/2009

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My mom wouldnt let me go on a date till i was sixteen even though i thought i was old enough before then and she also told me if i wanted to date that he had to come to the house and meet my parents first. I think sixteen is a good age to start to date.

Monica - posted on 10/08/2009

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Through my own experience and watching my nieces grow up, I've learned that it's best to allow her to date by your rules. Give her a little freedom so she doesn't rebel, but you still hold the cards. You know your daughter better than anyone. Set your rules by how well you know her. Apply the do's and don'ts as you learned them when you were growing up!

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Emily - posted on 12/31/2012

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I started dating when I was like 12-13. I mean it wasn't anything really. But i think now a days its more common. That now parents should let them cause all the hards things relationship, and plus 16+ its common for teens to kinda argue for relationships!

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I dont think its to early to date maybe 15 is but then again it is up to You abnd Your hsuband to see if she is ready for it. Meet the dates till she is 18 lol not a bad idea to me. infact i wish my parents did that. Let her know(if You deside she is ready) that she still has her responsbilitys as a child/student. some timse young women can loss focuse.

I plan on not alowing her(my daughter) to have dates by herself untill she is 15 or 16. but alowing "Home dates"(were her date will stay home with at lest one parent home with them to get to know them as well as she does and letting his parents aftor i met and like them look over them at their place.) i might even push the home dates till she is 17. lol maybe not.

tho i hope my daughter isnt going to be intrested in trying to find her "soul mate" till she understands herself firts.. that takes time. =)

Hope my thoughts helped some. The other women have a good word as well. I quite enjoyed reading them.

Donna - posted on 10/08/2009

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16 is plenty old enough to date as long as she is mature enough. My first real date was a month before my 14th birthday. We got married 2 days after my 18th birthday and on Oct 18th we will celebrate our 29th anniversary. Be open with your daughter about what to expect and how to say no and talk to her about birth control. It does not say you are condoning sex, it just says you care about her. Make sure you meet any boys that take her out and if they dont look you in the eye or are not respectful kick them to the curb. LOL

Sue - posted on 10/08/2009

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Dear Chervocka,
to me it's not so much a matter of a particular age, although that can be helpful as a beginning place for making boundaries. But the heart of the issue is not found in a certain age. It's in knowing how our hearts are made. Especially girls' hearts.
It's funny how we focus on concrete things like specific age and we let the other stuff slip by us. I think it's so important for YOU to realize that her heart will 'go out' easily or not so easily to a guy depending on how her girl-heart needs have been met. Hopefully she has a good dad in her life. Or some type of healthy male relationship based on fatherliness. This is the key to her heart -- her being built up and made to feel cherished by that fatherly man. If she's been lacking that (whether he lives in the home or not), her heart will tend to do all sorts of things toward the guy(s). That's how I was at sixteen, and I had two pretty good parents in the home. It's just that they didn't really nurture my heart as it needed.
Another important thing, whether Dad's in the picture or not, is to begin to make her aware of what her heart is made to do. Captivating, by John and Staci Eldridge, is a great read for you and her at this time; I'm sure there are many other good books. It's not too late for you and her to become 'students' and look into the whole thing together (or individually - if she's not so into you right now!).

Patricia - posted on 10/08/2009

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Hello to all the mom's out there. I was watching Dr Phil last night and he was emphasizing dating, the first kiss etc. My children are grown up and I am now a grandmother, enjoying him and wondering what it was going to be like for him when that time comes. According to Dr Phil dating is starting very early 11yr to 12 years of age. No more good night kisses bur blow jobs seems to be the alternative, I was appalled at what I heard. Of course, there were warnings on TV of what was going to be discussed. So the question of dating came up and turned a light bulb on from the Dr. Phil show for me.
I think 14 yrs to 16 yrs.seems to be good, but as I understand dating is out it;s hanging out with your friends in groups. This is when the Blow jobs are starting to go on, it also helps to be popular. Most of these kids came from good families and the parents had no idea. Parents said things to look for. How much time on the computer, always check if they are where they say their going to be, talking to them and really keeping an eye on what's going on in their bedrooms (keep the door open) This was a very scarry program to watch and I wanted to share and make all you mom's out there aware. Try to watch the Dr. Phil show from yesterday....Eye opener!

Louise - posted on 10/07/2009

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Trust your daughter, give her as much information as you can about keeping herself safe, teach her to trust her instincts and encourage her to go out with groups of friends, or go to open public areas on dates (rather than intimate one to ones). Invite the boy round for dinner if you feel able, it's a good way to reassure yourself that he's OK, and the quickest way to put your daughter off him haha!

Christina - posted on 10/07/2009

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ok i am sorry i just have to say this....so many of you moms are talking about know who she is dating and make sure you approve of who she is dating and so on....as stated before i am a mother of 4 (3 girls ages 13, 11 and 9 and a boy 3). I also know that if my parents tried to prevent me from seeing a particular boy then i just wanted to date him even more....in my opinion i think if you can trust your daughter and yall have an open relationship then why not let her make her decisions as far as who she dates goes....when it all boils down to it in the end that is what will happen anyways....teenagers will find ways to be with someone wether we want them to or not....just tell her that you know that she will make the right decisions and that she can come to you about anything, aside from that make sure that she respects her curfew and any other stipulations that you and dad have put into play and go with it

Stormy - posted on 10/07/2009

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I didn't go on a date till I was 16 but I didn't just go with my now husband, his family beleves in shaparoning so we took his then 13 year old sister, we had to do that till we were enjaged. we couldn't hold hand either, well we couldn't even touc each other. But thats just we belive in. Good luck. :)

Eileen - posted on 10/07/2009

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I say 16, and get to know who she is dating, By 16 most girls are dating anyway and if you try to make them wait longer they may start sneaking around and you wouldn't want that. It's important to know who your child is dating.

Tricia - posted on 10/07/2009

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32!!! Just kidding. It really depends on the maturity of your daughter. There is really no cut off age when it is ok... I think that they should be 16 for a one on one date, but again... it could go either way.

Adrean - posted on 10/07/2009

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I think it really depends on the guy she is wanting to date and, more importantly, what your gut ( or mother instinct) is telling you. I wouldn't give freedom unless is was earned and certainly wouldn't give it if the freedom has been abused in the recent history. My kids aren't very old, this is just what I would do...it's different with every kid.

Karen - posted on 10/07/2009

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Our rule is that they need to be 16 to date. Most kids are already "dating" but not going anywhere. They can go to dances, etc but we droped her off and picked her up until she turned 16. She also has a 2 month cooling off period between boyfriends. If they are willing to wait for her time to be up, then they really want to date her as a person and not just to say they have a girlfriend.

Brittany - posted on 10/07/2009

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also remember that every parent thinks that their kids are angels, i got away with way to much because i put on my sweet face and of course lied. So make sure you know her buisness. If she hates you for it know, she'll thank you later on. My parents thought i was an angel and i was most definatly not, if there was more family time with my parents digging into my life things might be different. so dont be afraid to pry into her life, because you could possibly protect her from some things.

Brittany - posted on 10/07/2009

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i started dating when i was in like grade 8 so i think thats about thirteen. Not to say i dont love my daughter, and i dont regret any decisions i have made but i am now 20 and my daughter is 9 months. Im not a single mom but its still hard. i also wasnt taught about sex, contreceptive's anything. my parents said absolutely nothing about anything sexual EVER! so if your gunna let her date make sure she knows the consequence's (good and bad) of any actions she may take i wasnt told and of course i thought i was invinsible and that "oh it wont happen to me" well it did. Having been pregnant just a few months before my 19th brithday it would have been nice if my parents taught me something (i think they also thought that what we learn in school is enough but it most definatly is not). Like i said though dont think that i dont love my daughter and dont want her it just would have been nice if i had the exact same baby and fiance a few more years down the road when i was settled down with a house/financially, etc. You also need to remember that you were a teenager once, and i've noticed that alot of parents forget what its like. So remember your choice's back then and the way your brain worked and dont punish her for things that you didnt talk to her about, because if she know's other choice's then hopefully she wont make any bad decisions. I know im still young but i hope this helps from a half-teenage point of view =)

Bethany - posted on 10/07/2009

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I personally don't agree with dating at all. However, I would say that when she's mature enough and responsible enough to act like a grown-up, then it's okay. And that is different for every person. The problems seem to happen when kids (and kids meaning anyone of ANY age who is immature and has no control) without the responsibilities of adults are given the benefits of being adults.

Tina - posted on 10/07/2009

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it depends what her boyfriend is like if you think he is not good for your daughter than you will have to sit down with her and explain to her you love her very much and tell her how you feel about the relationship and you want to make sure shes comfatable with dating and make sure the boys right for her tell her to take quite a while to get to know the real him before she starts going further into the relationship.

Sharon - posted on 10/07/2009

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16 was allowed for group dates for me. Mostly church organised stuff. But occasionally I was allowed to go to the movies or a fair but my parents would drop me off and pick me up or if an adult they knew was going to there - they could give me a ride home.

Josie - posted on 10/07/2009

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I have two daughters, and I made them both wait til 16....and now that they are 17 and 18 they don't even bother with dating they are having fun with there female friends, and one is too busy wit school. So as long as they keep doing good with school, and don't break Kerfew then i say try them out...You can always put ur foot down if they mess up and show them why they can't date....Hope it works out..

Jos

Mary Ellen - posted on 10/07/2009

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i think 16 is a good age to begin but i think that it is important to remember to inform her that group dates would be better, i went on my first date at 16 and had no idea how to act i went on my second date a few months later and it was a group date it was much better and we all enjoyed our selves more

Amanda - posted on 10/07/2009

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It's up to you, do you feel comfortable letting her date? Personally I was dating when I was thirteen but I would prefer my daughter wait until she's thirty. I never had a problem dating at that age but things are different everywhere, my sister didn't start dating until she was fifteen, now she's seventeen and pregnant. It all depends on whether you're comfortable letting her date and whether she's mature enough to date

Christina - posted on 10/07/2009

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i have 3 daughters and am dreading the whole dating thing but in my opinion they are ready to start dating when they are mature enough to understand that there are consequences to every decision that they make in life. if you feel like she has her head where it needs to be and that she can me a mature and responsible young lady then i say why not. good luck

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