Australian mum, single, of 16 teen girl seeks friends

Lynelle - posted on 01/24/2014 ( 3 moms have responded )

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I am a highly educated (arts law UNSW) mother of a beautiful but at times v v selfish 16 year old daughter (only child). Her father is not involved at all... and she is about to enter the last two years of school. We are not wealthy and my mother has just taken a second mortgage to send my daughter to a private girls school to give her the "best shot" at "a life"...
We had to BRIBE her to go... Within our matriarchal family I have now ceased legal work and will be the "stay at home" to provide support to my daughter on the cusp of becoming an adult. I have registered to study on line, am aiming to make my affairs "papersless" (Australia is 20 years behing us is IT terms) and I AM SO SCARED I WILL NOT BE ABLE TO HELP HER MAKE GOOD DECISIONS.
I feel impotent.
I have told her to balance her "passions" with her "material level of comfort", ie yes work at what you love but remember money does not rain from the sky.

I am seeking friends to talk to as I undergo this journey with my daughter as at the moment I am very isolated and find myself getting overstressed and venting on the wrong people.

I would love to hear from anybody, anywhere about what they have found works and what doesn't ... I would also like to learn more about the US... I have never travelled there... have relatives in Washington, and Florida... and would love to see New York before I die.
I am 43... unmarried and not looking for love at all until my daughter has found her feet.
So hi to all you mums out there... I read and relate to so many of your posts.
Thank you for taking the time to read this.
My name is Elizabeth but Beth is fine.

3 Comments

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Lynelle - posted on 01/24/2014

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Thank you for your reply. Shea (my daughter) is leaving a public school to commence at PLC (private expensive girls school). Her boyfriend dumped her ('too prissy and she wouldn't have sex) so she is heartbroken and as I write this I am nursing her through this heartbreak while assembling an entire private school uniform ( similar to strict dress uniform of a Catholic school).
I sound a little more desperate than normal I know...
In 2011 I had an accident, I had 3 surgeries, they said I wouldn't get out of a wheelchair... I have... I do 4 hours physio and water based exercise a day (alarm goes off at 4am).
Then as such things go a fire destroyed the Glasdesville unit I had singlehandedly assembled , still on crutches... and so busy that since we had only been in there 5 weeks (I ws in a private rehabilitation hospital unit for much of 2012)... due to an faulty 89.95 powerboard.
I re-housed us in Artarmon which is on the North Shore line and very safe suburb. Ironically we are on the third floor now and I finally put in an air con two weeks ago which makes the apartment inhabitable. I have all I need really.

I could not have afforded the private school but my mother (God bless her) insisted and took a second mortgage.
I stay sane by remembering
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Lynelle - posted on 01/24/2014

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Thank you for your reply. Shea (my daughter) is leaving a public school to commence at PLC (private expensive girls school). Her boyfriend dumped her ('too prissy and she wouldn't have sex) so she is heartbroken and as I write this I am nursing her through this heartbreak while assembling an entire private school uniform ( similar to strict dress uniform of a Catholic school).
I sound a little more desperate than normal I know...
In 2011 I had an accident, I had 3 surgeries, they said I wouldn't get out of a wheelchair... I have... I do 4 hours physio and water based exercise a day (alarm goes off at 4am).
Then as such things go a fire destroyed the Glasdesville unit I had singlehandedly assembled , still on crutches... and so busy that since we had only been in there 5 weeks (I ws in a private rehabilitation hospital unit for much of 2012)... due to an faulty 89.95 powerboard.
I re-housed us in Artarmon which is on the North Shore line and very safe suburb. Ironically we are on the third floor now and I finally put in an air con two weeks ago which makes the apartment inhabitable. I have all I need really.

I could not have afforded the private school but my mother (God bless her) insisted and took a second mortgage.
I stay sane by remembering
1.

Jodi - posted on 01/24/2014

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Hi Elizabeth. I am 44 year old mum of a 16 year old boy. He goes to a Catholic school here in Canberra and is also about to embark on his final 2 years at school. I am also a public high school teacher (my background is psychology/sociology, but also began my MBA with a focus on Business Law, and then went on to complete my Grad Dip in Education), so I see both sides of the coin when it comes to teens. My son's father and I divorced when he was only 2 (he is still involved, but only sporadically), but I am remarried and have 2 step-children who don't live with us and another child we have together (she is 8).

You will be fine. Our oldest (my step daughter) is 21, and she is amazing. While she went through a time when she may not have made the best choices, she has now almost completed her University, she lives away from home, she has a great job, and she has travelled Europe and looking forward to more travel. She is amazingly independent, happy and living a great life. You can't live their lives for them, but you can help guide them and be there for them when they need your support.

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