Donna - posted on 01/19/2016
Thankyou for your reply I was thinking of buying some sort of safety latch, but then he will just find another door. Teaching my son society, whether he take any notice, reminders is the key and consistency.
Raye - posted on 01/18/2016
Safety latches for your cabinets?
The truth is that I think manners for a person with autism do not come easily. Remember as with every aspect of social convention and norms, our children need to be taught the whys and wherefores. They need reminders. They will not pick up manners as other children do, just by watching. They will not understand why they need to act a certain way. And some kids, even if they know and understand why, just won't care. Sometimes having others tell them the same thing helps, so it's not just one person saying something crazy... they can see that others believe that's the right way, too.
First, you have to make sure that there's not anything physically preventing them from doing as you ask. If they haven't mastered fine motor skills they may not be actually able to hold a fork, or use it correctly. If they are uncomfortable sitting for long periods, or are easily distracted, that could explain their inability to sit still. But if they are otherwise not handicapped, then they should be taught proper ways to behave.
Children need to learn these things early with or without Autism as behaviors are difficult to change once established, especially if there is some lack of understanding as to the differences between various similar behaviors. Don’t presume that they won’t “get it”, don’t presume that they aren’t absorbing what you say and certainly don’t presume that it will just never apply to them because they have Autism. If you want your child to “fit in” with society, you’re going to have to teach them what society will expect of them.
Some people will dismiss the bad behaviors your children exhibit later in life but not everyone will. You would be much better off instilling good manners in them early. It will serve them well in life.
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