Awful behavior from my daughter- 4K

Kelsey - posted on 02/23/2016 ( 6 moms have responded )

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I am looking for some help on my daughters behavior. I know all kids are different but any ideas on what we can work on are much appreciated!
My daughter started a new 4K school this year. She consistently misbehaves that first day going back. Usually Monday or Tuesday. So much so that today she spent half her morning in the principals office.
Let me start out by saying my daughter is very strong willed. Her father and I did not stay on top of her like we should have when she was younger (we recognize this) but we have really been coming down on her (sitting in the corner, time outs, not getting to go places, etc). She has consequences for the tantrums and the crying.

She has become a whole different kid this last month. It's amazing. So good and listens well. Except at school. I don't know what it is. I mean- they are much more structured and have ways that things need to be done.

I just don't know what to do! I feel we are strict at home and she isn't always allowed her way so what is it about school that has her acting up? I don't want to have the child who no one wants to teach and I don't want to make the teachers / kids day miserable as well.

Any suggestions would be lovey. Thank you all! :)

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Sarah - posted on 02/24/2016

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She is 4 so delayed gratification may not work well yet but you can try an external motivation method for a short time to see if she cam improve her behavior without the help of a behavioral therapist.
When she is rested and in a good mood explain the rules;
You expect her to go to school, mind the teacher, not get sent to the principals office and play well with the kids. If when she gets picked up the teacher gives positive feedback, she earns a token (poker chip) When she gets home, have her put it in a bowl where she can see it and show it off to others. Once she earns 3, 5 or whatever you decide, she gets a reward. Something small like cereal for dinner, extra TV time, or a special dessert. This technique will only work short term; kids wise up and start up the ante for their good behavior. You don't wan t to be paying her to behave, but once she can internalize the feeling associated with being obedient and successful she may be more motivated to continue the behavior with an occasional reward and lots of praise.

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Kelsey - posted on 02/23/2016

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No. They had off of school for some teacher education day. She usually got M, T, off wed and then TH and Fr.

Jodi - posted on 02/23/2016

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Okay, I'm going to ask....why was she home with your mother yesterday? Was this instead of being at school?

Kelsey - posted on 02/23/2016

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She comes right home and has to sit in her room. To be honest, I don't know what they do at school. She has gotten play time taken away. And we implemented a "smiley face/ sad face" reward system. I think we are a little more lax on the weekends but try to keep as much on schedule. She was home with my mom yesterday and was great.so I just can't figure out what the trigger is at school that makes her act this way...

Jodi - posted on 02/23/2016

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What are her consequences for acting up at school? And is she getting enough sleep on the weekends?

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