awful scary custody battle please help! i need real advice

Brittany - posted on 04/23/2014 ( 7 moms have responded )

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my custody battle involves domestic violence and 2 states. so its complicated. i have a restraining order here in CA granting me custody of my son until the hearing. his father in MN filed a paternity suit there in the meantime. during the hearing today i was ordered to return to the state with my son where we have no resources or family other than his. he ignored the dv allegations and claimed jurisdiction even though the move there was temporary. my lawyer says if i do not agree to their "parenting plan" which states i let him take my 22 month old baby for 3 wks at a time and then i hav 3wks then i will b in big trouble. but this is horrible to put a baby thru tht kind of back n forth. hes from CA n lived here most of his life. how can the judge do this?? what are my options?? any advice

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Amanda - posted on 04/24/2014

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hi Brittany

im at a loss as to what is right or wrong. I think as long as you do right by your children and keep them out of it and rise above all the malicious complaints, you and I will win long term.....I hear all the time children will work it out.....and my son is 7 nearly 8....he don't like going to dad as much as he used to...as our house calm and happy....at dads they fight a lot.... ive thought about running away heaps....but men like this will hunt you down and you could end up loosing. have you gone or court yet or got orders in place?

Amanda - posted on 04/23/2014

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judges don't give a hoot about you or dad...they only care for child and having them in kids life......it wrong cause half the men or woman for that matter don't derserve to have children....ive been in courts 6 yrs and it going back.....the whole system is just screwed the one causing all the grief always come off best...that what I have learnt....and it wrong honesty gets you nowhere.

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Jodi - posted on 04/24/2014

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OK, Brittany, thanks for clarifying :)

Forgive me, I am from a country where both parents have equal legal rights married or unmarried (just as it should be).

Did you have legal representation at the hearing in MN?

Brittany - posted on 04/24/2014

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thanks amanda. see your son is thankfully old enough to say how he is doing and wether or not he is benefitting from the situation. my son is not even two yrs old. the MN court is trying to say im bring held in contempt for not "allowing" visitation between his farher but i was court ordered by my CA restraining order to allow no visitation to his father until our hearing to make the order permanent wich is happening monday. im in trouble for following my court order. idk how thats possible but hes making up so many lies about me its just frightening. there has to b something i can do to protect my son from havin abandonment issues and resenting me for allowing them to take him away frm his home in CA for a month at a time.. hes a baby. anybody else hav any suggestions??? please... im scared my son is going to b seriously psychologically harmed in this battle

Brittany - posted on 04/24/2014

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actually jodi he was born n raised in CA and we were only in MN where his father is from for 6 months. we were never married and i had the legal right to take hom wherever i want bcuz there was no previous existing custody order. my restraining order granted me temporary custody. so u are mistaken. n he abused me in front of my son and actually picked him up n directly put him in the middle of it multiple times. that is y my son is included in the order. i fled dv and came HOME where my son was born n raised. how can i b forced to return him to an abuser when we arent from there?

Jodi - posted on 04/24/2014

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Can I just clarify something here? You moved away from him, not the other way around? Your son was born in MN? You then split up and you chose to move to another state?

You actually didn't have the right to take the child out of state and away from the other parent in the first place. That's the real issue here.

A DV order is between you and him, not your baby and him. It doesn't mean he can't see the child.

Your lawyers are right.

Brittany - posted on 04/23/2014

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thats exactly what im realizing. iv told the truth this whole time, done it all by the book, done everything legally while my ex sits there with his psycho mom n they make up outlandish claims and stories and my side isnt even heard. thank you for the response amanda.. im thinking about not complying with that order (theyr doing illegal things n twisting the system so i should too im thinking now) and just waiting to see what happens with our hearing out here. in your experience, whats the best way to keep your child? give into the abusers demands or wait it out n try to do things the way they should b done?

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