Baby daddy drama

Kayla - posted on 06/18/2015 ( 2 moms have responded )

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So my son is turning 2years old soon. His real father has not been a part of his life, never supported him financially, never a gift for birthday or holidays, seen him maybe 4 or 5 times. And not again for almost a year. Now he emails me and says we have a lot to discuss and he wants to talk about visiting my son. My son is a very smart boy. Never cared for him when he did visit when my son was little. He would scream! I am now engaged to my sons amazing step father but who we call his dad. We do not ever talk about him as being the step dad. What would be your advice on how to manage his biological dad?

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♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 06/18/2015

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Get custody and support established in court, since it seems you may have never done so.
The man has every right to be a part of his son's life. He's got every right to request, at the very least, visitation, if not more.
Get an attorney. You cannot make this decision on your own. It needs to be done in court or you will risk losing custody entirely due to intentional parental alienation.

Raye - posted on 06/18/2015

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A child should have the opportunity to know both his parents. The child should also know that the step-dad is not his bio-dad. If you lie to him, and he finds out when he's older, he may resent you for it. It can turn all kinds of ugly. Best to tell the truth from the beginning. Many moms wish to take the "easy" route and not deal with the ex if at all possible, but that's not in the best interest of your child.

If you haven't already done so, go to court and file for custody (for yourself) and visitation (for the father). You may also apply for child support. That way everyone knows their rights and what is expected of them. Once it's set by the court, you both have to abide by the court orders and can't just change the rules cause you or your ex feel like it. You should consult with and hire a lawyer to get the best representation and advice regarding the laws in your area.

You can always ask the court for supervised visits to start with, but no guarantee they'll grant the supervision. If you are noticing any drastic behavior changes resulting for dad's visits, then document it or have the boy see a counselor and present your findings to the court to see if they will revise the visitation schedule. Just keep in mind that it will take some time for him to adjust to the new situation.

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