Baby mama drama!

Kayla - posted on 04/07/2015 ( 9 moms have responded )

7

0

1

Had anyone else had to have their s/o get a restraining order on their child's mother because of harassment and using the kids as pawns? I recently did and although life is soooo much better now we miss the kids!!! I'm expecting my first child later this year and wan the big brother and sister in our lives. But they were brainwashed by their mom so badly that now they don't even want to talk to their father nevermind come over. What can I do? He's tried talking to them but they pity their mother more than us... Which is wrong but because that's their mom & custodial parent I kind of understand and they're getting older now too and I remember how I was as a preteen .. Any advice on bringing them together again??

MOST HELPFUL POSTS

Ev - posted on 04/08/2015

7,252

7

909

But it sounds like he still sees the kids and has some sort of contact with them. That being said, it won't work in a parental alienation case. The part where she says things against you to your face or over the phone directly to you can be used to take her to court over but not what the kids say as that is hear say.

Ev - posted on 04/07/2015

7,252

7

909

I am wondering is your S/O your husband, boyfriend, or fiance? I am not sure what all has gone on but there is not much you can do. If your guy wants his kids around he needs to get on the ball and talk to mom or take her to court for alienation from him.

This conversation has been closed to further comments

9 Comments

View replies by

Kayla - posted on 04/08/2015

7

0

1

We have what she said over the phone to us directly and what the kids have told us too. She has in the past told us that the kids can come over but hat hasn't happened since the restraining order. Now it's just her talking about us to the kids and the kids feeling like I'm destroying their family. Once his daughter even said "so who's it going to be ... Her or us." And he had a conversation with her staying that he deserves to be happy and that he doesn't have to chose between his kids and his girlfried. And that she used to like me before so why is she letting her mother change her views of me. But all his daughter did was cry. Like her mom is pressuring her in some way to dislike me. It's just not fair but because she's not mine I can't say anything it sucks.

Ev - posted on 04/08/2015

7,252

7

909

But you can not use what you over hear in the back ground of a call to point out alienation of a parent. You need strong proof she is keeping the kids from him such as not allowing visits at the proscribed time, keeping him from being able to call them (you said in one of the last two posts you both heard ((I do not know how that works)) things said in the background there were wrong so she is not stopping phone calls), or doing anything else that might interfere with him having a relationship with his kids. It also sounds like he is seeing his kids somewhat at their grandparents since they are the third party where drop off and pick up are done. So, unless there is months on end where there is no contact and out right refusal on her part of his seeing his children....there may not be much of a case in parental alienation. BUT as far as I know you can take her to court over talking bad about him in front of the kids, AGAIN, if you have proof of it and not something you overhear on the phone.

Kayla - posted on 04/08/2015

7

0

1

I didn't get a restraining order. He did. He was tired of her calling him & degrading him, speaking bad about me (mind you we've never met), she would say that the kids can't come if I'm going to be there & I never did anything to the kids. I was the girlfriend who took them shopping, to the park, to family events & had them over my house for sleepovers. He expressed to me & the authorities that she was just a crazy woman they have been apart for 9 years now. Their children are 9 & 12.. The 12 year old is more understanding now but she has tried to brainwash him in the past. But his father took care of it. It seems as now she's doing the same with their daughter but she is harder to bring back around. It's like she's defending her mother just because she's her mother. This is something that he tells me has been going on for years so yes the restraining order was completely necessary. I don't know about your situation but a baby mother thinking she still has a special place in the life of someone you're with will create problems for anyone. But he isn't the only one she does this with she has two other baby fathers that she did it to but they have cut off contact & one doesn't even see his child . My boyfriend is not like that. He cares about his kids. But he wasn't going to have this vile woman harassing him, degrading him, threatening him & me.. He stuck up for himself finally & I am proud of him. We have his parents as a third party but her trying to turn her daughter against us to make her look like the better person is wronh. He has been in altercations with her in the past. Not physical but she would call the cops on him, threaten to change the kids last names and take away his rights all because he had a girlfriend. His previous girlfriend went through it as well. She even wanted to fight her & it was for no reason because from what I heard she was a sweetheart. The mother is just bitter, she's mad that the kids didn't make anyone stay & she was trying to use them against him for a long time. Finally the calls have stopped and he couldn't be happier. We just want his daughter to think about the situation from our pov which has been difficult. She's getting older too & wants to spend time with friends & my boyfriends nieces but I honestly think it has something to do with what's being said in her household. My boyfriend and I have overheard things while on the phone with her. It's wrong

Jodi - posted on 04/08/2015

3,533

36

3906

How was this woman harassing you so much that you decided to take out a restraining order on her? I get that you and she don't get along, but you don't have to have anything to do with her. Taking out this restraining order has clearly made things difficult for the children, so I'm curious as to how major the issue was that you allowed it to create problems for your relationship, because I'm not seeing that this is actually a solution - it is just creating different problems for your relationship.

Kayla - posted on 04/07/2015

7

0

1

He is my longtime boyfriend/father of my future child due in november. He has mentioned court before but I don't think he knows about alienation .. Will talk about it with him. I really hope that we could resolve this because children need their family & I know that I don't want my baby to not know the older siblings. I want them to be close as I am with my siblings. He didn't know about a lot of the rights he had as a father. I've brought him up to speed on a lot but even I didn't know there was a case for alienation. We'll look into it. He still sees them & talks to them but I'm ticked off at how we are being portrayed. His daughter has gotten attitudes with him before too & this is all recent & I feel like it's because of her mother. She was so sweet but her mom is exposing her to adult situations & that's not right. Turning her against us out of spite. Who tells a child about a restraining order. It has nothing to do with her. She's just bitter

Kayla - posted on 04/07/2015

7

0

1

He had visitation set up on weekends way before the order but basically she told her kids that their father put it on her & even told them that he's trying to abandon them. Child support comes out of his check every week & the kids still go to his parents house but they are not interested in coming to our condo. The mother has tried keeping them away from us in the past saying it's because he's with me but I know it's because she wants him back.. I've dealt with situations like this in the past just none with kids I cared about .. When we go to visit them at his parents house they seem annoyed that I'm there.. Like their mother has been saying more false things about me. Their father has spoken to them & had the girl in tears & the boy said he just likes hanging out with his friends which I understand but it's the girl who I used to be really close to but now she feels so bad for her mom & admitted that it's hard being a 9 year old & wants to listen to her mom even though she knows her mom is wrong .. I just wish I could do more to bring her back around because I miss our time together. My boyfriend said one day she will see how her mother is but that's not enough for me. I want to be in her life now not when she matures into a young woman. It's just that I feel out of place because he's ok with the kids being distant. He says it's not his fault & he still communicates with them by phone & when they're at his parents house he sees them. I guess I just feel left out because we used to do everything together. She told she loved me & even though I didn't agree, called me mom a few times. I felt loved & now I feel robbed. But we couldn't allow her mother to continue harassing us because it wàs creating problems for our relationship

♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 04/07/2015

13,213

21

2014

your spouse can file parental alienation charges with his attorney.

However, you can't have it both ways. You got a restraining order on the kids' mother, but were there procedures in place for child exchange for visitation, etc? If not, he helped alienate his kids, and its no wonder they aren't enthusiastic about a relationship with you and he now...

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms