Baby Shower Debacle

Josie - posted on 11/25/2015 ( 8 moms have responded )

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Hi everyone, so I am almost 26 weeks pregnant with my first little baby and my baby shower is coming up in January. Both my boyfriend's mom and my mom have been planning, but I really wanted to include my step-mom in the planning process as well, she and I have an amazing relationship and everyone seems to be on board with the idea besides my mom. It's been impossible to convince her and it's gotten to the point where she basically gave up and said she didn't want to be a part of the planning anymore. I guess I'm just looking for any tips on how to handle this and if I'm crazy for wanting my step-mom involved. Any and all opinions are welcome and will be respected by me. Thanks everyone!

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Dove - posted on 11/25/2015

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Who is throwing the baby shower? Who is paying for everything? If your mom and your boyfriend's mom are the ones paying for it... then they should be the ones planning it. You should absolutely be able to invite your stepmom, of course, but unless you are paying for it... then I don't think you should insist that your stepmom help plan for it.

Then again... if everyone ELSE is OK w/ it... it would be better for your mom to let go of whatever resentments she has and let your stepmom be involved... since this party IS about you.

So really... either way you go is right. ;)

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Josie - posted on 11/25/2015

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That's what I thought in the beginning and now that I see what's going on now, I really wish that's how it would've gone. I feel like this big headache could've definitely been avoided. But, it's definitely something to keep in mind for when baby #2 eventually happens.

Sarah - posted on 11/25/2015

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It is not proper etiquette for Grandma to host showers, it may be old school but that it the "rule". A close family friend, aunt or cousin should host and therefore be in charge of the guest list. i am guessing this rule of etiquette came about for the very reason you are having trouble.
Babies are a blessing and both grandmas need to get over it and open their lives and hearts to step-grandma. Otherwise it will be a long lonely life for somebody.....

Josie - posted on 11/25/2015

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Both my mom and his mom are paying for everything. Originally, I wanted to plan it myself as I have a lot of event planning experience, but the grandma's didn't like that idea very much so I decided to let them do their thing...lol

I definitely understand what you're saying and I never really thought about it that way, I think I'm just getting frustrated because I'm so used to knowing what's going on and this time all I could really contribute is the theme and color scheme .

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