Baby wants to be held 24/7, HELP!!

Cameo - posted on 11/10/2013 ( 5 moms have responded )

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Hey moms,
I have a 9 week old daughter who will not be content with playing or laying down without me or my husband holding her. She will scream and cry her our ears off unless she is touching someone. And car rides, forget about it! I feel so bound to the house and don't know what to do. Can anyone relate? Any suggestions or thoughts as to when she might grow out of wanting to be held all the time??

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Jessica - posted on 11/10/2013

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Oh dear. I feel for you...because it seriously sounds like my girl at that time. We had to employ a very serious hand-over-eye, shushing and patting technique to get her to go to the next sleep cycle. She only just now started to get into a good sleep routine. I religiously read Tracy Hogg's books to get help after awhile. If you can get a hold of any of her baby whisperer books...they are TOTALLY worth the read.

Cameo - posted on 11/10/2013

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Good suggestions..yes I know they need tons of sleep at this age but she won't STAY asleep.i can always tell when she's soooo tired but she fights when it's time for her to go down. If she finally falls asleep she'll wake up after about 20-30 min. It's so frustrating for both because I know she's exhausted! She sleeps through the nights though. Just wakes up for a feeding and goes right back to bed.. She's just terribly exhausted in the daytime because she doesn't nap well

Jessica - posted on 11/10/2013

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That's why I said no easy answer...it was a battle for us too. Pacifier only worked SOME of the time.
Do you think she is getting enough sleep? That could be the other thing. 9 week old babies need TONS. I found out that I was keeping my girl up too long and she was overstimulated which contributed to the crying. I needed to put her on a strict routine - feed her, keep her up for 1.5-2 hours MAX then get her to sleep. Also, if she's only sleeping for 30-40min, then that means she isn't getting the good deep sleep that she needs. Babies wake after 30-40min and have a hard time settling into the next sleep cycle. She should, ideally, be getting 1.5 hours for her day time naps.
And make sure you keep activity very light at this stage, especially with her crying. I had to take away pretty much all the toys except for one or two items. No play gyms, excer-saucers, or jolly-jumpers. Keep visual stimulation low - black and white patterns are great for this age and only give brightly coloured objects when you know she's happy and wide awake.

Cameo - posted on 11/10/2013

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Yea I do a lot of baby wearing but like you so af you can't do everything with a baby attached to you. She won't keep a paci in her mouth unless she's terribly tired and about to fall asleep. She's really only content in our arms. I guess we'll just wait it out and hope for her to gain a little more independene someday soon

Jessica - posted on 11/10/2013

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My girl (now 7 months) was like that. There is no simple answer, I'm afraid. What worked for us was a pacifier. We introduced it especially for night times because she comfort-fed, which was great for her but not so good for me and my cracked nipples. Once she got the hang of it, we gave that to her when we put her down or went in the car. Never left the house without about 3 extras in the diaper bag just in case because it was the only way. Now at 7 months, she still uses one, but not to the same extent. She can put it in her mouth herself and plays with it but we don't need it most of the day and have gone into town without one without noticing, which was unthinkable when she was younger.
We also used our baby sling/front pack a lot. I would wear her around town and she was very happy about that. I would sometimes use it to do chores around the house, but having a bubs in front of you makes it hard to do most things.
Other people who are attachment parenting style-minded would suggest that there is nothing wrong with holding her all the time and perhaps that's what she needs. But my problem with that is you need SOME freedom.
She will most likely grow out of it, but try to find a method that she likes. Don't do any 'tough love' or 'crying it out' stuff with her now. It will only create mistrust.

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