Babys last name Moms rights in Texas not married dad taking me to court to change her last name to his

Rebecca - posted on 10/26/2013 ( 12 moms have responded )

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I just had a baby me and the father are not married and never will be. I want my daughter to have my last name just like my other daughter. At the hospital I filled out all of the paperwork with just me and my last name. The father is now suing me for paternity and wants to change her last name to his. I didn't file for any child support just wanted him to leave us alone. I have talked to 2 attorneys they say if he wants it he will get it because this is Texas law. Any ideas? I think this is crap he can just walk in and say I'll pay so change her name. What happened to mothers rights do those end when I give birth because I'm only the mother.

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Mary - posted on 10/29/2013

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Texas is Texas... Consider making her middle name your last name. When she's older she may want to change it depending on well her bio father treats her over the years. She has a right to know him and you should encourage that relationship in a positive way. Unless, of course, he's abusive and I certainly hope that's not the case.

Stephanie - posted on 10/29/2013

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I'm truly sorry for the stress this is obviously putting on you & your baby. My entire family is from Texas..even my husband's! The real trajedy is when the father does NOT want the child...like me. And after years and years of trying to make a relationship, he disowned me while in the hospital for giving my son the fathers last name. Please don't make any mistake...little girls need their fathers. I still have a hard time every year on our shared birthday! My father would be my hero if he would've tried for me AT ALL!
You should pray about it & let God handle the rest. He knows what she needs ultimately. Even better than us, the mothers.

Enna - posted on 10/29/2013

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This sounds so petty. I can totally understand that you want your child to have the same last name as you and her sister, so that makes sense to me. But her father wanting to change her name is silly. What difference does it make? It sound's like he's trying to label her as his possession.
I agree that he should have the right to see her and get to know her, but that has nothing to do with her name.
She can change her name when she's older if she wants to. She's probably going to change it again when she gets married too.

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The thing is, this child is half him, just as much as she is half you. You are not more related to her than he is or more entitled to a connection with her by name than he is. Which means he has just as much right to give her HIS family name as you do. And since she is a little baby, she doesn't know the difference; she is not yet used to be being known by one name or the other. I'm not saying he has any more right to name her than you do either; I'm saying you both are EQUALLY part of her and have an equally valid desire to give her your names. No one is taking away your mother's rights. You still have her and have a relationship with her, and since you didn't state that he is filing for custody, I assume you will still have full or primary custody of her. In fact, to say you want him to just leave you both alone (which you did say) actually indicates YOU wanted to extinguish, or at the very least ignore HIS parental rights... Research statistics on kids who grow up without their father in their life. It's not pretty. That's NOT what's best for your child. What you want and work toward for your child SHOULD be for your child to have the best possible relationship with her father. Your state's law on the name is what it is and you can't change that, whether you think it is "crap" or not, but you should never WANT your child's father to leave her alone unless he is a danger to her. If you have that attitude, or hold bitterness against the last name if the state grants his request, your child WILL pick up on that over time and it WILL negatively affect her. You can try to fight it, but if it goes through, honestly I think the best thing you could do for your daughter and your own peace of mind would be to make your peace with it ASAP and try your best to encourage and facilitate a great relationship between her and her dad so that this family whose name she might have will be a constant and positive part of her life.

Jodi - posted on 10/26/2013

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Did your lawyers say he had the right to change the baby's name or just the right to establish paternity and PETITION to have a name change (with the ultimate decision made by the judge). The thing is, as father, he has just as much right as you do to decide the baby's name. That doesn't mean the baby SHOULD have his name, but it does mean that he has the right to apply for it to be decided if you can't agree. He also has the right to see his child (your statement that you just wanted him to leave you alone indicates that you had no intention of allowing or encouraging a relationship either).

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Rebecca - posted on 10/26/2013

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I want her to have my last name. Since we are not married I have another daughter who has my last name I want both of my children to have my last name. I don't think he should be given priority over the last name just because he is the father.

Mindy - posted on 10/26/2013

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why would you not want your daughter to know her father, as a young girl I would of given anything for my dad to want me and to have his last name. unless the father is a pervert or downright bad. I think you should rethink that.

Rebecca - posted on 10/26/2013

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The name change is what I was saying I thought sucks. If he is going to be all about her best interest I have no problem with visitation. Only time will tell on that.

Jodi - posted on 10/26/2013

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Oh, don't get me wrong, I don't think it is wrong that he can file for visitation. That's his right, and I believe that every child has a right to a relationship with both parents. He is likely to win that one, as he should (unless you have some real evidence indicating the safety of the child is of concern). I just think it is silly about the name.

Jodi - posted on 10/26/2013

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Well, unfortunately, you had sex with him and made a baby. This is the price you both pay. You now have to have a relationship with this man for 18 years. Your child has a right to know her father, and he has a right to a relationship with her too. It doesn't matter what he said while you were pregnant. He also has the right to change his mind. I think it is silly that the law there allows him to change the child's name, but if that is the law, that is the law. Is he also filing for visitation?

Rebecca - posted on 10/26/2013

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He is also petitioning to change the name if she is his. The lawyers said he would win if it went to the judge that they always side with the father on last name if he is going to pay child support. That is correct I had no intention of allowing or encouraging a relationship because the whole pregnancy he kept saying he didn't think she was his and after she was born he never asked anything about her it was what he wanted and everything was I,I,I. I honestly believe he is only doing this to save face with family and friends.

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