Bad Husband

Manj - posted on 11/21/2012 ( 3 moms have responded )

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I been with this guy for 17years. We are highschool sweethearts. Great loving guy, cooks dinner , heart of gold but he's got a major problem.

He's got a drinking problem.

We have three children all under the age of 9. He's great with the kids but when he drinks he can't control his liquor. He gets loud, and just won't leave anyone alone like really bugging them. He leaves and doesn't wanna stay home b/c all he wants to do is party! He says he will be home in one hour and comes home 8 hours later. I'm stuck at home doing all the mom dad jobs like homework, spending time with kids. It really gets me angry! He should be home and hanging out with his beautiful kids and wife helping out.

In the last week or so he's been hooked on oxys. He was in a bad car accident which was his fault. I know his body isn't the same as it use to be. So the last week hes been hooked on these oxys and hasn't really been home. He's been power dialing all his friends and lying to them, lying to me, his parents, sister, and most importantly his children. Than I find out he's mixing liqour and oxys together. The oxys he is taking are 80 mg. Thats allot! Enough to kill you.

I just wanna pack up and leave and take my kids with me. On the other hand I want to stay and help him out b/c I don't want him overdosing. My kids without a dad would just break their hearts. I want to get him the help he needs but he's not listening! Honestly I been doing this for 8 years. I don't want to take this abuse nomore b/c I know i'm a supermom and want to be treated fairly but I don't want to break this family up too. Im so confused. It's not that easy just packing the kids and going. Especially when you have three children. Where do you go to a shelter...my goodness I don't want to do that. I am a stay at home mom too. I'm writing this b/c I need to vent. I'm hurting inside ....and it's just not fun!

3 Comments

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If you do plan on staying with him, at no reason should you let him be alone with your children. He is an addict and alcoholic, both of which make him utterly non-trustworthy. People who mix drugs and alcohol and then are alone with kids is a recipe for disaster.



Are you able to stay with a family member? You could call the police and have him arrested if the drugs are illegally obtained. I know that sounds very harsh but which is worse, him having a car accident again with you and the kids in the car or him going to jail where he can be forced to detox?



You may also not be aware if your kids are unhappy. I stayed with my 2nd husband for way too long because I thought my son (his stepson) adored him. Turns out my child was putting on a show for me becuase he didn't want his stepfather to make me cry. He was in private physically abusive to my son and my son hid it. When I finally left him after he threatene to kill me, my son finally told me all that was going on. I never knew. I just knew he was a horrid man to me but I never guessed he was hurting my boy.

Dove - posted on 11/22/2012

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My mom put up with her alcoholic husband... until the second time he hit her when he was drunk. That's what it took for her to get out (of course all her kids were already long grown). I hope you get out before he gets to that point. Hopefully you and the kids leaving will be a wake up call to him to get help, but if not... at least the 4 of you will be safe.



My mom didn't want a divorce, so she got a legal separation with the condition that she would get back together with him if he decided to get and stay sober for a year.... that was 4 years ago.

Michelle - posted on 11/22/2012

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If he doesn't want help then nothing you do will change his mind.



I was married to an alcoholic for over 7 years and finally had enough and left. It was the best thing I ever did. You don't have to put up with his abuse and your children shouldn't have to grow up in that environment.



If you don't leave for yourself, think of your children and what you are teaching them. You don't have to leave, you can kick him out. You keep the house because you are also keeping the children as he's not a fit parent at the moment.



Get someone in to change the locks on the house when he is out and leave his things on the front lawn if he won't leave on his own.

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