BB Gun and Bow & Arrow - Would you allow your 7 year old?

Joma - posted on 09/26/2016 ( 2 moms have responded )

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My 7 year old' grandchild's father was just released from jail. He spent time in jail for DUI, with child in car, child restraint failure, leaving scene of accident and wrecking. This jail time was weekends only. He violated that for "contraband" (drugs) and had to spend real jail time (about 6 months). This father has been arrested for domestic violence against child's mother 3x and has done many traumatic things in front of child. Both the mother and the father are opiate addicts. The mother is currently in rehab and I have POA. The father called the other night and spoke to son about "having his bb gun and bow and arrow all ready for the weekend and that they were going to shoot birds and squirrels". My grandson had tears in his eyes when daddy spoke squirrels. I told daddy that we would need to "revisit" the visitation schedule because I was not comfortable with him having or shooting these, especially with a irresponsible drug addict - never treated. Would you allow it for your child or grandchild? He and his mom claim "he found God in jail and all is well now". I've studied this addiction for 3 years and I claim hogwash. I don't want to risk and now the fight will be on. There is no current "visitation schedule", the parents were never married, and mom has sole custody. Daddy claimed, after I said no, that "I can't keep him from his son because he's paid child support or is ordered to pay child support". Fact: he has paid miniscule amounts of child support and that started when the child was 5.

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Joma - posted on 09/26/2016

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The exact arrangement with the court is unknown to me. As I said, my daughter is away at rehab but to my knowledge there was never any visitation set up because, at the time, they lived together. I had been letting my grandson go every other weekend to visit the other grandma (a huge enabler in denial about her son). But THANK YOU, that is my gut reaction too! Hell no!!! I think I will keep taking it a day at a time and if they want to take it to a court, we'll let the judge decide. In this moment, I have to decide what I feel is best for my grandson. I never meant to keep him from his daddy but at this point, I feel he needs protection. And as a side note: The night daddy called, after they hung up, I said to grandson "do you really want to shoot squirrels?" He said no. I told him I "under any normal circumstance, a daddy should be able to do this with his son, but this is not a normal circumstance (grandson is well aware of situation and is in counseling for it). He said, and he's 7 "I completely agree with you". He had a total look of relief on his face. So yeah, I'll be the bad guy.

Dove - posted on 09/26/2016

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Child support and visitation are separate issues. There may be no visitation schedule, but does the court order allow for 'reasonable visitation' or no visitation?

As far as the gun and bow and arrow thing that would be a big hell no from me. My 8 year old son owns many toy (sounds) and Nerf type guns, but he knows he will not get an air soft gun until he is in middle school (our youth groups have 'wars'). He went to a summer camp w/ bows and arrows... but well supervised and shooting at targets. I absolutely would not condone my child using weapons to shoot at animals.

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