Become a father

Nestor - posted on 08/07/2016 ( 6 moms have responded )




Hello Everyone....dont know if this site is only for Moms or both, im just trying to learn how to be a father to my son after his mother for the past 18plus years have pushed me away from my son. Now he is 21-year-old and he told me that he doesn't see me as a father because i never were a way is true but he doesn't really know the real truth. He doesn't know that his mother at the time didn't want to have more babies. When she found out she was pregnant she wanted to have an abortion. We had a nasty disagreement about it it was and is my only son.Guess is true what they compare a woman anger with I have try to never give up but came a day that i had to make a hard decision my freedom or my relationship with my son. Trying to be in my sons life lost my carrier, being in jail twice,she took thru the court everything that i had before getting married etc. Now my son is 21-year-old no one can tell him if he want to see me or not was my hope....but now hes so hurt with all the lies his mother have told him all this years that he wants to see me dead. The worse is that i cant tell him the truth it will damage him worse. Instead i have chosen to be guilty in his eyes....most fathers have the chance to be with his kids and Im one of that small percent that the mother have done the impossible on teaching a son to hate his own father. My question is how can someone have a heart to do such thing? How am i suppose to fix this when he doesn't want to listen....deep i know he wants me in his life but doesn't know how to let me in....he is so confused dont know to hate me more or gives himself a chance.CAN ANYONE SAY SOTHING? WHAT SHOULD I DO? PLEASE.


Dove - posted on 08/07/2016




I am completely confused on how trying to be in his life caused you to lose your career and go to jail... Typically it is very difficult for a parent to not have SOME sort of visitation w/out very hard evidence that the parent is a danger to the child. Heck, my nephew's bio father beat his mother bloody in front of him and even that scum had visitation... I do suppose there are crooked judges out there though.

I suppose all you can do at this point is apologize to your son for not being in his life and let him know you would like to develop a relationship as two adults.... Perhaps find some common ground in an activity that you both enjoy. If he refuses though.. there really isn't much you can do except try and write or call him every few months to see if he's yet willing to give you a chance.


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~♥Little Miss - posted on 08/10/2016



3058 are a dead beat father who has all the excuses in the world of WHY you were a dead beat father.

Own it. Reach out to your son and let him take the lead. Don't talk bad about his mom. Show him through your actions that you want to be around him and know him.

Jodi - posted on 08/07/2016




I also don't understand why you have had no contact with your child all this time unless for some reason the court has determined you might be a danger to the child. I don't understand the choice between no relationship with the child or jail either. That seems bizarre. There seems to be some detail you are leaving out, because unless there is evidence you are a danger to the child, there are avenues you could have easily pursued to access visitation with your child. Without knowing the actual reasons that prevented you from being a father to your child, it is quite difficult to make a suggestion on what to say.

Teresa - posted on 08/07/2016




I don't see how you got pushed away from your child. What you done in the past shouldn't reflect on your time with your son unless you harmed him in any way.

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