Become a father

Nestor - posted on 08/07/2016 ( 1 mom has responded )

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Hello Everyone....dont know if this site is only for Moms or both, im just trying to learn how to be a father to my son after his mother for the past 18plus years have pushed me away from my son. Now he is 21-year-old and he told me that he doesn't see me as a father because i never were there...in a way is true but he doesn't really know the real truth. He doesn't know that his mother at the time didn't want to have more babies. When she found out she was pregnant she wanted to have an abortion. We had a nasty disagreement about it it was and is my only son.Guess is true what they compare a woman anger with hell....lol I have try to never give up but came a day that i had to make a hard decision my freedom or my relationship with my son. Trying to be in my sons life lost my carrier, being in jail twice,she took thru the court everything that i had before getting married etc. Now my son is 21-year-old no one can tell him if he want to see me or not was my hope....but now hes so hurt with all the lies his mother have told him all this years that he wants to see me dead. The worse is that i cant tell him the truth it will damage him worse. Instead i have chosen to be guilty in his eyes....most fathers have the chance to be with his kids and Im one of that small percent that the mother have done the impossible on teaching a son to hate his own father. My question is how can someone have a heart to do such thing? How am i suppose to fix this when he doesn't want to listen....deep i know he wants me in his life but doesn't know how to let me in....he is so confused dont know to hate me more or gives himself a chance.CAN ANYONE SAY SOTHING? WHAT SHOULD I DO? PLEASE.

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Lori - posted on 08/07/2016

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That is a very difficult situation to be in. No parent deserves the guilt of not being there for their children based on lies from the other parent. The only real thing you can do now is be patient and understanding. Your son may have a lot of questions he is afraid to ask because maybe, deep down, the answers are already known. Kids can be formed to hate someone based on untrue facts, now that he's an adult, he is mature enough to base his opinion solely on his own thoughts. A gentle reminder that you are not the person his mother made you out to be and you would like a chance to prove that may just work. Best of luck with all of this. Keep faith.

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