AMB1 - posted on 01/03/2014 ( no moms have responded yet )
First off, I feel kind of quilty for joining this group because I'm not married to my bf yet, but I have been with him and living with him for over 3 yrs now. His 7 yr old son has been in my life for almost the entire time I've been with his dad, so I am very close to him and love him very much. Over the past 3 yrs, my bf's ex has put him and us thru the whirlwind. She is not a nice person to my bf, she's very manipulative, devious, plays victim all the time, lies, is inconsiderate, disrespectful, nothing is ever her fault, etc, etc. I could go on for days. However, I have always tried to talk to her with respect and try to remain calm when talking to her about the many issues her and my bf have had over their son. Sometimes we can talk decently, and sometimes all she does is lie, point the finger, play the blame game, and is completely disrespect to my bf (and sometimes me). She moved their son away 7 hrs up the coast and planned everything behind my bf's back, so by the time he found out (from his 7 yr old), it was too late to do much about it. he didn't want his son to be homeless if he took her to court and stopped her from moving. He made her come up with a parenting plan and all they did was have it notarized. Well, that was BS! She continuously played him for a fool and all I could do was watch. After all her controlling BS, she stopped letting my bf see and talk to his son, for over 8 months. My bf took her to court, and after a long year of waiting, court dates, and emotional turmoil, he got the custody and visitation he deserved all along. The judge saw right threw her crap! Now, after 8 1/2 long months, we had his son for Christmas break ....he's been with us for 10 days and we've loved every second of it. We missed him so much and are sad that he has to go back to his mom. There's lots of love between him and his father and me. He's such a sweet kid. sometimes he calls me mom because it slips out, but most of the time he calls me by my name. Im ok with both. I would never tell him that he is to call me mom. I would never do that to his BM (regardless of how aweful she is). My bf and I never talk about his son's mom negatively in front of him. Never! it does not matter how we really feel, that's still his mom. Its been really hard for me to take on this role and not because of the child, loving him unconditionally is easy, its the ex that makes life tough. Can anyone give me advice on what I can do to keep my sanity when it comes to the BM's ridiculous actions and tactics for years to come?