BEDTIME SPANKINGS

Caroline - posted on 08/13/2014 ( 14 moms have responded )

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Last week, my daughter who is five, decided to become obstinate and rude and when I told her it was time for bed responded with a clear and definate "" NO "".
After a few warnings and a promise of a spanking I brought her to her room, put her over my lap and administered a proper bedtime spanking. Afterwards, she did her little dance, rubbed her bottom and was put in the corner. A few minutes later I hugged and kissed her, put her to bed for being a bad girl and gave her something to think about besides misbehaving and talking back to Mommy. I would like to know what other mothers think about bedtime spankings and what their feeling would be if this happens again.

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Louise - posted on 02/04/2016

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Spanking is the appropriate response when a child is either disobedient or rude. In this case your daughter was both. I think it will be a while before your daughter is so openly rude. However she will continue to subtly challenge the rules that she doesn't like. As long as you explain why she is going to be spanked, it will be not only effective discipline but she will respect you and feel safe and secure. Even when she's across your lap.

♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 02/05/2016

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Oh my. I have to ask, what IS a "proper" spanking? IMO, by the age of 5 years old, you, as a parent, have MANY other, more preferable methods of discipline than abusing a child.

Not to mention, but you "put her to bed for being a bad girl". If it was the child's normal bedtime, then you were putting her to bed BECAUSE IT WAS BED TIME.

IMO, you're giving your kid too many mixed signals. It is perfectly normal to try out that word "No". A parent should be adult enough to handle the situation without hitting the kid.

Caroline - posted on 10/20/2014

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Hi and thank you very much for your response. I have to apologize for my rather late reply, but we took advantage of the long weekend and were out of town. At the outset, let me say I agree with the entire context of your letter. I too believe that we should use spanking as a last resort and certainly agree that we should refrain from administering that type of punishment when we're mad or upset. I do wait a few minutes and then calmly explain why they're getting a spanking and follow up. I guess I'm a bit old fashioned, but I put my children over my lap, I believe they feel more secure in that position, I have better control and my smacks land exactly where they should. As per my original letter, I reiterate that my youngest daughter was very much in need of a good spanking ( thank you for your support) and I hope learned the lesson she was taught. However, should she dare to repeat such a performance, I see no other option but to repeat MY PERFORMANCE and give her bottom another warming. I do have a well established bedtime routine and she will just have to learn to adhere to it. If you have other thoughts about this would love to hear about them. You sound like a woman very much in control with definate ideas about child raising and this was certainly evident in your letter. Thank you for taking time from your busy schedule to lend me your suggestions and advice. Best regards, Caroline

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Ev - posted on 02/04/2016

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I have to agree with Jodi and Dove on this. I did the swats on the bottom on rare occasions but have never had to resort to a "proper spanking" of any type. I always told my kids what I expected of them and also modeled the behaviors they needed to follow and learn. When they got older there were other consequences for their actions or rule breaking such as: sentence writing, staying in room for the night and not participating in the family fun activity, loss of privileges, loss of the use of things (internet, gaming consoles), not going to do things they want to do. I used what fit the situation the best. And it worked. Not only did I have less outbursts of rule breaking or bad behaviors, my kids respected me more for sticking to my reasons for saying "no" and/or the rules and following through with what they needed in consequences.
Also there is no such thing as a bad child--more like bad parenting that I am sure you have witnessed in the store for example where the parents give in to the child. The child learns that they get their way if they keep up doing what they do and the parents cave. The child is not bad--he or she is learning what the parent is telling them they can do.

American - posted on 10/14/2014

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Caroline. I would have given her a warm bottom as well. you obviously have a bedtime routine so stick with it. spanking should only be used as a last resort and never when you are mad. good job mom. if you don't get h hand on it now it only gets worse as they get older. don't forget to praise good beavior as well. what works for one family may not work for another so just be patient and it will work out well.

Dove - posted on 10/13/2014

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There's no such thing as a 'proper bedtime spanking'. Yes, I've done a single swat to the rear at bedtime a few times in my parenting 'career'... typically only after it's been over an hour of the same behavior.

I do take serious issue w/ you referring to your daughter as a bad girl and sincerely hope you never refer to her directly in such a manner. There is no such thing as a bad/good child... only bad/good behaviors. It is very important to make the distinction w/ our children that even though they choose to do the wrong thing sometimes THEY are not bad.

My feelings if this happens again... simply don't take no for an answer... get her ready for bed, put her in her room w/ the normal bedtime routine, and walk out and ignore her protests that she doesn't want to go to bed.

Caroline - posted on 10/13/2014

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Thank you for replying and for your advice. You maybe right, perhaps I could have forgone the "cornertime" considering I had intended to put her straight to bed after her spanking. I would point however, that I had tried cornertime before and did not meet with much success. On this last incident it became very clear that my daughter needed to be given a spanking and that's just what she got. Your observation that both punishments might have been unneccary carries a great deal of merit and my daughter could have perhaps done without the ""cornertime"" but not the spanking. Her attitude, manner and total disrespect towards me, calls for a very warm bottom. You sound like a very confident and competent woman and because of that I would like to reiterate one unanswered question from my original post - what would be you feelings should this same situation present itself again ? Thus far it has not. - Thank you, Caroline

American - posted on 10/13/2014

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I see that she got spanked and put in corner. I believe in spanking when it fits but not twice the punishment. one or the other would have worked so why both?

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