bedtimes for 8,5,3, 8month.

Sarah - posted on 01/01/2012 ( 28 moms have responded )

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Ok so I know I have 4 children and you prob. think I should know everything but my struggling issue is should my kids go to bed separately ?? and what time? So to go to bed separately do you think I should let one stay up longer than the other? I have 2 boys who share a room 8,3 .. I let them watch TV before going to sleep for 30 min. depending on what time they go to bed ... so what should my children's bedtime be? And separate times or same....?

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Sarah - posted on 01/03/2012

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I also don't see a problem with letting a boy and girl share a room ... So what about the diffrent body genders doesn't matter they are going to see it someday anyway ...I wouldn't have a boy and a girl share a room because of picking out themes and such thats my only reasons against uit...

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Sarah - posted on 01/05/2012

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In my house, we do bath time immediately after dinner (we finish around 6:00-6:30ish). The jammies and story time. I then put my 17 month old to bed then spend a few extra moments with my 3 year old before I settle him. I spend so much extra time with my daughter in the day because she's younger that I think those few extra moments are important to my son. Usually both kids are settled by 7:00 - 7:30.

Andrea - posted on 01/05/2012

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I have three boys in one room...ages 2, 4 and 8...bed time at our house is 7:00. Recently we decided to let the older one stay up half an hour later, but having him actually stay up with us caused problems with the younger ones not staying in bed. So our solution is that they all go to bed, and he gets to read until 7:30. We gave him an Led camping light, so he has enough light for reading, without bothering the other two. He's on the top bunk though, so i don't know if that would be too distracting in a side by side situation. He feels special not only that he gets to stay up, but also that he gets his own lantern. I also like that it is encouraging him to read for fun. As to bed time, the two older ones are in school and i find if they stay up any later, they don't have enough rest the next day. Also, the older one knows that his later bedtime is contingent on good behaviour...if he is bad (usually only close to bed time, or something big) then he doesn't get his extra time.

Olivier - posted on 01/05/2012

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I've been wondering about the same issue. At the moment it troublesome. I've got a 5 week old baby, which battles to settle down between 7 and 10 at night and the a 3 year and a 7 year, they won't go to bed until I lie down with them and read a story but at the moment it's not working for any of us.

Christine - posted on 01/03/2012

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I have a 11 yo son and daughters that are 4 & 2 1/2. The girls share a room. They all go to bed at 7:30. That's "mommy & daddy time." The oldest reads until 8-8:30. The older daughter goes to bed in my bed with a few stuffed animals. She usually plays for a little bit and falls asleep. The baby goes into her room. I transfer my older daughter to her bed after a trip to the bathroom. That way everybody gets their own time/routine.

Ruthie - posted on 01/03/2012

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I put my children to bed at the same time and never had a problem. As a family, we would watch a movie together before bedtime, then we read them a story. For us, we didn't have tvs in their rooms until they got older.

Joanne - posted on 01/03/2012

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my baby has a bath at 5.45 has a bottle and is in bed by 6.30 sleeping all night apart from a bottle around 11, the 3 yr old should be bathed when baby goes down and the 5 yr old when the 3 yr old gets out put the 3 yr old to bed while the 5 yr old is bathing then the same with the 8 yr old while sorting the 5 yr old to bed so 3 yr old will be about 7 and 5 yr old about 7.30 and the 8 yr old at 8pm i think that is late enough for all of them and i bath mine everynight to give them routines and it really helps

Lisandra - posted on 01/03/2012

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I have two boys ,they usually go to bed by 8:30pm.my oldest is 6 and youngest is 3 yrs old.

Jennifer - posted on 01/03/2012

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Does the 3 yr old take a nap? If so, they could probably share a bedtime. As far a what time, I would think that would depend on what time your 8 yr old has to get up for school. My son (8) is a mess without 10 hours of sleep, but all kids are different. My kids are in different rooms, but get up at the same time and are both in school. There is no right or wrong, but if I were you, I'd concentrate on the school agers for a reasonable length of time to sleep and go backward from when they get up.

Jebecka - posted on 01/03/2012

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I have an 8, 6 and 3 year old. Usually about 8pm, although often the 3 year old goes earlier if she hasn't had a nap. It is easiest for me to put them all down at the same time. They will often play around a bit and drift off when they're ready (or I really insist they settle down). I let the 8 year old read for a while in bed before he goes to sleep.

Denise - posted on 01/03/2012

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I have a 9 yr-old and a six yr-old. They both go to bed at 7:30. My oldest is allowed to read in her bed until 8, but then it's lights out. I think it is super-important that they go to bed relatively early. I think, if I was in your shoes, I would have the 5 and 8 yr olds to go bed at the same time and the littler ones earlier. But if the littler ones still take really good naps, they may not need to go to bed that early. When mine were younger they shared a room and I put the little one down about a half-hour earlier. Just enough time for him to be sound asleep and wouldn't be disturbed by his sister and it would make a smoother bedtime transition for my daughter, because it was darker and quiet out of necessity, which relaxed her. Good luck!

Nicole - posted on 01/03/2012

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The decision to put the bus together is really led by boys. I consider myself to be a BIG TIME Feminist yet my bus are still all about "boys do this and girls do that". So the 3-year old is starting to say that he's a big boy and he wants to go with the big boys in the big boy room. His poor sis is going to be lonely but in a few years she'll appreciate the privacy.

Lisa - posted on 01/03/2012

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Their bedtimes should be different. An 8 year old deserves to stay up later than a 3 yr old. I have 3 boys. My 9 yr old goesd to bed at 9PM and my 4yr old twins go to bed at 8PM (the latest). The twins do not share a roon with their brother sk that's easier. It would almost be a punishment to force the older one to go to sleep just because his brother has too.

Chrystal - posted on 01/02/2012

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I'm only going off what I think I would do since we only have 2 of the 4 we want so far. I'd check online to see how much sleep is recommended for each age and then count back from when they get up to see when each should get to bed subtracting the hours they nap for those that do. That will give you a basic idea of what time of night should be bed time for them to get the rest they need. On the nights I'm putting my kids to bed myself I put them down youngest first then 15 minutes later the oldest. You could put the 8 month old and 3 year old down about the same time while the other 2 watch tv in the living room then it'd be their turn. Another option could be that everyone goes to their rooms at the same time but your oldest doesn't have to actually go to sleep for awhile and can stay up reading or some other quite activity.

Sherri - posted on 01/02/2012

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And as I said they will do it Kelina whether they share a room or not. Sharing a room isn't going to promote it or even close to make it happen. If it is going to happen it is going to anyways.

Kelina - posted on 01/02/2012

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Sherri, I applaud them. But i know from experience that that's not the case with every child. While some kids never think of stuff like that until they're appropriate ages others start much, much younger, usually through exposure. That doesn't necessarily mean their parents but possibly their siblings or their friends, or even if they come across a dirty movie while searching for treasure in mommy's room.

Sherri - posted on 01/02/2012

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I agree with the cootie thing but as far as the experimentation I strongly disagree with that one Kelina. If they want to do that they will do it whether they share a room or not. Heck my 5 1/2yr olds best friend is a girl and she is 7 and they still sleep in the same bed when they have sleepovers never has there ever been a problem and they have grown up together.

Kelina - posted on 01/02/2012

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because they each think the other has cooties? lol possibly because at that age they're quite curious about bodies and have a difficult time understanding that it's not appropriate to experiment with a sibling. Or really anyone for that matter......

Nicole - posted on 01/02/2012

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I forgot to say that my two eldest are boys and so is the youngest. So the youngest likes to sleep with this sister for now but I am soon going to have to rewrite the bedtime script so that the youngest boy can sleep with this brothers. He's getting into the "I'm a big boy now" phase.

Nicole - posted on 01/02/2012

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My kids are in the same range -- when my eldest was 8, the rest were 5, 3 and 1 (or some months, who can remember). At that time, I started the "getting ready for bed" routine at 8PM with the hopes that everybody would be sleeping by 9PM. After PJs and teeth brushing, one of the eldest would get the "bonus job" of reading a story to the group. Then the youngest two (sharing a room) would get their lights turned off before the oldest two, who would be allowed to sit up and quietly read to themselves until 9PM. When I was breastfeeding the youngest, I would sit in the 3-year-old's darkened bedroom and nurse until they were both asleep. Then I would tuck them in, get up and turn off the lights for the older two. I wish I could say that it went smoothly every night -- it DIDN'T, especially at the beginning. But it really did start to come together once I had a plan of action, something to strive for.

Sarah - posted on 01/02/2012

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Well we have bathtimes starting at 7 at night and my 5 year old is a girl and my 8 year old is a boy my 8 month old is a girl and my 3 year old is a boy so it would be really hard for a boy and a girl share a room.. My 8 and 5 year olds wake uo at 7 on school morning s and 7:30 - 8:00 on weekends ...

Lynn - posted on 01/02/2012

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I think some of it should depend on when they wake up in the mornings. They should be sleeping for about ten hours a night, but the younger ones still need daytime naps, so that's a good place to start. My kids are 10 and 8 and go to bed at 8:30, wake up at 6:30 every day. (They've had that bedtime since Kindergarten, when going to bed at 9 made our mornings too rushed.) They stay up later on weekend nights, but don't really sleep in much later than 7. If your older two share a room, then they probably need the same bedtime, and the younger ones maybe should go to bed a little earlier, unless they will wake up really early. Since they're still napping, it wouldn't be too weird to put them all to bed at the same time, but that may be too hard for you.

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Do what works for your kids and your family.

My 3.75 year old son and I go to bed around 6:30-7 on days he doesn't nap and 7-8 on days he does nap. He wakes up between 6 and 8 depending on how tired he is or what needs to be done... most school mornings I have to wake him by 7. My twin 10 year old girls go to bed at 8 on school nights (have to be up at 6) and 8-10 on non school nights depending on how tired they are and what has to be done the next day.

Elfrieda - posted on 01/01/2012

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This is an absolute shot in the dark, but here goes!
If the baby cries for a bit before he falls asleep, maybe put him down at 7. (mine woke up again to eat around 10pm before sleeping through to the next morning)
Then put the 5 and 3 year old down together, have the 8 year old brush teeth and listen to stories at the same time, but he can have some quiet activity while the younger ones go to bed at 7:30 or 8. And then the 8 year old goes to bed at 8:30.
I think it all depends on how early everyone has to wake up in the morning, and whether the 3yo wakes up if the 8yo sneaks in to go to sleep.

Sherri - posted on 01/01/2012

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Your 8mo and 3yr old I say about 7:30pm and for your 5 & 8yr old I say bedtime for 8pm.

Kelina - posted on 01/01/2012

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What works for you and for them? do they have an issue with all going to bed at the same time? how long do they usually sleep? do they get to stay up later on weekends since it's not a school night? This really depends on what works for you and your family. I know when I babysat four boys 6,9,10,11 the older ones got really upset that they had to go to bed at the same time as their younger brother, so i had to start putting him to bed earlier. The TV again depends on your family. Does that work for them or does it seem to keep them up? With many kids, allowing them to watch tv before bed will stimulate their brains and keep it active even though they aren't actually doing anything and seem sedate. This can lead to sleep problems later in life which is why watching tv before bed is not recommended. You also need to think if that is a habit that you want your kids to get into. Needing to watch tv before bed to get to sleep. These are all decisions you need to make. looking at your schedule to figure out what will work best for you and talking to your older kids.

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