bedwetting need advice

Tammy - posted on 05/03/2010 ( 28 moms have responded )

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can someone please give me some advice on what i should do about my 4yr old wetting the bed every single night, its driving me insane im getting very impatient with him, he goes to the toilet befor he goes to bed but yet he still wets the bed every night and not just once will he wet it its 3 times a night that he wets the bed i shower him eachtime but his body and clothes still smell. iv tried waking him up twice a night to take him to the toilet but nothing i do seems to work please help if you can its abit beyound a joke now and im losing it with him.

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Jodi - posted on 05/03/2010

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Pull ups. Maybe he is not quite ready to be dry at night yet. Pull ups are the easiest way of dealing with it. However, at only 4, it isn't something you should be at all concerned about. Some children take longer than others for the brain to mature sufficiently for them to wake up when they need to go. My step son still wets the bed most nights, and he is 11. It isn't his fault, the trigger just hasn't activated yet. At 4, it is VERY common.

Please do not "lose it" with him, and do not punish him. It isn't his fault. If you are finding it too much to keep up with wet sheets, etc, use pull ups until he starts showing he is dry 50% of the time. An work on the patience :)

Amy - posted on 05/03/2010

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Just sort of scanned through all the posts so I don't know if this was said or not. I would buy those Pull ups that give the "cool" effect when he pees. Seems like he likes the warmth of his pee and maybe if it wasn't warm he'd stop and start putting things together.

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Barbie - posted on 10/12/2011

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I have a son who is 8 years old and he still wets the bed 3 times a night too. I bought the alarm and it did not work. I also bought a book that said the child needs to visualized he/she is peeing in the toilet and draw pictures. Well we really did not do this because it also said the child has to be the one who wants to stop wetting the bed. My son would like to stop, but honestly he did not think it was a problem and really he just sleeps hard. My father wet the bed until he was 13 and also my cousin wet the bed until she was 13. Just recently, I found out that a few have this problem even after marriage. My take on it now is to stop getting mad at the situation and make a big deal when they have a dry night! One more thing, the book I was reading said it was my fault for letting my child wear Goodnights (diapers) to bed because they do not feel the wetness. The funny thing is that when I went back to not using them in the summer time I kept the fan on at night, my son thought he was dry, but it was the fan that dried up the wetness because even though his underwear was dry it smelled like pee. So why am I telling you this? We are the ones getting mad..... it is not helping. I just put the Goodnights on and make sure he goes pee (I mean I practically follow him to the bathroom) before he climbs in bed. This helps because when I do not do this he will overload his diaper and that's when I have to change the bedding.

Tanya - posted on 05/05/2010

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I had a son that bed wet on in the night up to 4 months shy of 5 years old and the peditrician mentioned to me that it will stop when there bladder catches up to them, so basically his body was growing faster then his bladder control if this makes sense.

I have a daughter that is still bed wetting at night and she is over 5 and apparently the peditrician said to me that it can happen up to 7 years or older sometimes, that wasn't what I wanted to hear.

My kids go to bed before bed too and unfortunately I am no help for advice besides which is hard even for me being patient, while you and I go frustrated with our kids doing this right now.

Tanya

KELSEY - posted on 05/05/2010

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my couisan had the same problem bring him to the dr she had some wrong with her blader now she on medicine that helps alot so bring him to the dr

Jodi - posted on 05/04/2010

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Thanks Amy, I am in Australia, so we probably don't have them, and then, they probably don't come in larger sizes.

Amy - posted on 05/04/2010

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They exist at my walmart. THey are called Cool alert and its supposed to help kids when they are first getting potty trained instead of just feeling wet they give a cool sensation to let them know they are wet, sort of like a cool breeze on the bottom.

Nikki - posted on 05/04/2010

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Do you really think he is waking up that many times a night and intentionally wetting the bed because he likes the feel of it? It doesn't sound like very typical behaviour for a 4 year old, could he be saying this to hide the fact that he is ashamed? Is there any chance he is having nightmares or afraid to get out of bed at night, does he have a night light?

I agree with Roberta it is so very important not to show your frustration otherwise he could regress further.

I would possibly speak with your doctor, I know it's frustrating but it is quite a normal part of childhood, I was a shocking bed wetter until I was 10, it started off because I was such a sound sleeper but as I got older I was too scared to get out of bed at night in case the robbers got me! My mum got me a water bed at about 6-7 years old so she could just wipe it clean.

Good luck with it all I hope that you find a solution :)

Roberta - posted on 05/04/2010

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Tammy from past experience and mistakes made, don't get upset and show frustration I did the same, finally a doctor told me every child is different and their body developes different. The best thing to do is pull ups until he or she can learn to control on their own without embarrasement. I know its hard but believe me if you draw attention it will make nerve problems and self convidence go down. Good Luck

Tammy - posted on 05/04/2010

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jess thanks i will remember to tell him that he needs to go to the toilet every time he has a drink and yes i have stoped him having a drink an hour befor its bed time and do make sure he goes to the loo befor he goes to bed but thanks for the help i will be making him go to the loo after every drink

Tammy - posted on 05/04/2010

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wow thank you every one for the advice amy yes you must of missunderstood on what i was saying about him wetting the bed yes he does like wetting the bed because it keeps him warm he has also told me that he likes the smell of his own pee why any child would like the smell i really dont know, he shares a room with my 3rd oldest and not even my 2yr old likes to sleep in the same room because it smells of pee.
thanks kerri i will ask about the nose spray what exactly does it do? i will be taking him to the docs weather they will help or not ill still take him to see what they say as at the age of 2-3yrs he was fine with getting up every night to go to the loo but once he hit 4yrs old he went back to wetting the bed none of my other children wear pull-ups at night as they no when to go to the loo so i dont think he is wanting to wear them because the others are because they dont have to wear them. karren i will ask about the alarm but if its going to wake the hole house up im not sure on it as once my 2yr old has disturbed sleep he will stay up for about an hour and also he wets the bed 3 times a night dont really want an alarm going off 3 times at night but thanks every one for the help but i think in the mean time i will go with the chart and use pull-ups untill he is ready to stop wetting the bed thanks :)

Jessica - posted on 05/03/2010

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Dont let him have anything to drink like an hour or so before he goes to bed and have them go to the bathroom before they go to bed. My dad had the same problem with my little sister. He even went to take her to the doctors and they did some tests and she was just fine. The doc said that it could be that while she was sleeping she couldnt feel that she had to pee. He said that the best thing to do is just limit the fluid intake and make sure that she goes to the bathroom after she drank something and then again before she went to bed for the night!

Alison - posted on 05/03/2010

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I vote for the Pull-Ups. If it is a jealousy thing, he will grow out of it. If it is a physical maturity thing, he will grow out of it. Stop making a big deal out of it and give him a few months. When his younger sibling starts wearing big boy or big girl panties, he'll get on board!

Karen - posted on 05/03/2010

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Even if your son knows he wetting the bed I bet he won't like the sound and vibration from the alarm and maybe he will get up to go pee. Just a thought.

Karen - posted on 05/03/2010

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I bought my son the Marlem Bed Wetting alarm. Wow what a difference. The alarms are around $100 but after a few nights of him wearing the alarms he improved. The alarm teaches them to get up. My son sleeps so sound that nothing wakes him up not even when he wet the bed! The alarm is pinned to his pajama shirt by his shoulder and the clamp is attached to the outside of his underwear. When the child starts to pee the alarm senses wetness and the alarm goes off and then they get up to go pee. The alarm will wake the whole household up but after a few weeks it should be better. My son has not wet his bed in over a month. He needed help in training his bladder. It worked for us.

Anitta - posted on 05/03/2010

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my oldest was a really deep sleeper and would wet the bed almost every night up until the age of about 11. i used garbage bags as a matteress protector and a towel on top of that to soak up the wee then the sheet ontop of the towel. some night he was dry because he could feel the wetness. i know it is annoying to say the least but they do grow out of it. some kids wet and some dont.

Jodi - posted on 05/03/2010

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Wow Amy, do they exist? I have a stepson who still pees and can't wake up, and would be interested in seeing if these make a difference....

Jodi - posted on 05/03/2010

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I absolutely agree Amy. I would go the pull ups too, and then just do the reward chart. Punishment, regardless of why it is happening, will be counter-productive. I just thought I'd highlight what she had said, because I figured you may have missed it :)

Theresa - posted on 05/03/2010

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My advice is to use pullups. He can't help wetting at night. My son had bedwetting problems too. I talked to the doc about it. He said until they're at least 6 (and he recommended waiting until8) docs won't try to do anything to help. Sorry it's not what you wanted to hear, but he will grow out of it eventually. Don't get upset with him, there's nothing he can do about it. If he gets upset about pullups let him know that it's not a punishment. My son wore pullups, then goodnight until he was 10. He was very emberrassed and hated it. If he could have controlled, believe me he would have. Good luck and be patient.

Emma - posted on 05/03/2010

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four is still young it can take a while before they are proficient at waking up and getting to the loo, a lot longer to get the hang of than during the day, My Daughter is 3 and we have gone back to pull ups as she is such a heavy sleeper that she just dose not register in time, She gets very upset when she has an accident, with pull ups back on she is dry most nights but when accidents do happen its not the end of the world.
If he picks up your getting cross or upset about it he might start to stress about it and it could get worse.
i don't think any kid chose to wet the bed its more likely he's just not ready to take that step yet.

Amy - posted on 05/03/2010

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I must of missed that, even if that's the case she's spending so much time with him when he does wet the bed he's getting all the attention he wants. He's actually getting more attention for doing it then when hecstays dry. Buy a waterproof mattress cover and clean him in the am take away the attention he is getting and only reward the positive but it has to be greater then the negative, if that makes sense.

Kerri - posted on 05/03/2010

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When my brother was younger he had the same problem, and his doctor put him on this nose spray. He wasn't allowed to drink anything an hour before bed except water. He was on this medicine for a few years and then it just like trained his body to not wet the bed.

So I would talk to his doctor and see if they still have anything like that out there!

Jodi - posted on 05/03/2010

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Amy, she said " he has told me he likes wetting the bed as its warm but he has plenty of blankets at night." That is why the assumption that he is choosing to do it.

Amy - posted on 05/03/2010

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I don't necessarily believe he is choosing to wet the bed, my son is 4 and he has wakes up plenty of nights to go potty and there are nights that he's too deep in a sleep and wets the bed. I would just use the pull ups at night, because obviously if he is doing for attention he's going to do it for negative attention because he's getting a greater reaction out of you then if he were to actually stay dry. Use the pull ups and tell him when he wakes up dry 1 day he gets a to do something special with you and build from there!

Jodi - posted on 05/03/2010

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Tammy, if he is choosing to wet the bed, the alarm won't work, not really. It is more for children who are not able to wake up. It sounds like your son knows when he is wetting and chooses to stay in his bed. It will certainly scare the crap out of him (i.e. it is VERY loud, and can wake the whole house), and get you up to attend to things, but whether it would work or not......

I would suggest trying to use the pull ups, but reward him for when he is dry in the morning. Find some stickers he likes and put them on the chart, then once he has 7 stickers, give him a reward, some sort of treat, or a little car, or something. Also make sure you don't leave the older one out - he is obviously dry at night, so make sure he is included in the treat too, or he may think "hang on a minute, I don't wet the bed, so why aren't I getting a treat too!!"

Tammy - posted on 05/03/2010

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well yes thats the thing i do get very frustrated because he does choose to wet the bed, i was thinking about taking him to the doctor for help as iv herd of an alarm you can get that will help you child to wake up and go to the toilet but im just really not sure on what to do no i havent tried a chart yet i might see how i go with one for him but if no luck with that i will have to go with pull-ups again as its gone to far now and id rather use pull-ups than get angry at him once again thanks for you help much appreciated :)

Jodi - posted on 05/03/2010

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Wow, I am not sure I can help with that one. The fact that he is choosing to wet his bed is entirely different, so I see your frustration. Have you tried a reward chart for him?

Tammy - posted on 05/03/2010

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thank you jodi for the help you have giving me but i have tried using pull-ups befor and still no go he will still wet them, i didnt want to keep putting him in pull-ups because he actually likes having them on i dont want to treat him like a baby by putting pull-ups on him every night. he knows when he feels the need to go to the toilet at night as once in a blue moon he will get up and go to the toilet at night and have a dry night but he has told me he likes wetting the bed as its warm but he has plenty of blankets at night.
i dont know weather he does it for attention or not but i have told him time after time he is going the wrong way about it. i have 4 children my 4yr old is my 2nd oldest and im not sure if he is jealous and wants to still be the baby and still wants to wear nappies or not but im finding it very hard to deal with at the moment and have giving up on ideas on what to do.

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