Emmanuele - posted on 03/26/2015 ( 5 moms have responded )
Been the daughter of a narcissistic mother, I married a narcissistic man. I do beleive that if one gets married before recovering from a neurotic parent one will automatically marry a fellow who has the same disorder than his or her neurotic parent. Could be that in our subconscient it is because it was somehow printed that such behavior meant love or could be that the one we "choose" senses us as compliant victims ... I am not a psychiatrist just an RN. Anyway, I am convinced that one doesn't become narcissist from being born from a narcissist parent. One suffers so much from having had the constant conditional love from the neurotic parent that on the contrary we want to give unconditional love to our children. But giving unconditional love to a child who has inherited the narcissist-genes is just plain hell since this child is a full-time attention-seeker. My youngest daughter is one. She is the most darling daughter as long as every one plays her tunes, as long as the spot-lights are on her. I live abroad, but each birthday I have her sent a bouquet of 2 dozen roses but this year I didn't, just did same she did for Mother Day and my own birthday : a post it on face-book ! Oh ! Gosh did I get it !!! She made her (3rd) hubby to send me a message of how she was hurt. Too bad, not a word from her. Sorry, I am recovering and plane to enjoy life at last. She tried to hurt me by writting venimous words about me in a face-book group she knows I can read, but this time it hardly touched me, I just feel sad for her since her need of perpetual attention is growing up with time since evryone bend to her requests as I did until now. As a parent, could be my new behavior - which I feel comfortable with - is the best choice and could give her a chance to use her brain a little bit (between 2 Xanax). On facebook she writes that she doesn't feel like giving money to any f ... therapist, and that she rather spend the money shopping and that medications do better than speaking to an "asshole". As mothers we must be strong and use a little bit of self-respect, any other behavior is useless and suicidal.