behavior

Elizabeth - posted on 02/17/2014 ( 8 moms have responded )

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my kids are 8&6 and they will not listen or do anything i ask them to do. what can i do?

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♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 02/20/2014

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There is a difference between being 'mean', and being a parent. A parent will use consistent discipline, consistent consequences, and consistent rewards to instill proper behaviour in their kids.

My kids are grown, and with consistent parenting, they are well mannered, well rounded, self sufficient young men who understand that every action in life has a natural consequence. They know to think before they speak, act, or move, and assess the possible outcomes of their decisions.

Start when they're young, stay consistent, and you'll be an excellent parent

Jodi - posted on 02/20/2014

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Disciplining your child is not "mean". You are not their friend, you are their parent. They need to understand that there are consequences to their actions - after all, that's how it works in real life. Do you think I like it when my kids get upset when I issue consequences? Of course I don't, but I NEVER give in. My kids are older than your now, and they respect me, respect our home, and respect the rules. We rarely have issues with the kids these days. If I ask for help with something, they do so with no question. And no, I am not "strict", I am just consistent with my expectations.

Elizabeth - posted on 02/20/2014

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sounds great. ive done some of that. sometimes i feel like im to strict. i dont want to be to mean. that what it feels like. i dont let them see that side of me

Jodi - posted on 02/19/2014

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It's called discipline. Rewards AND consequences for actions are effective when used together. You need to make sure they are fully aware of the consequences of their behaviour, and THEN you MUST follow through with those consequences. So many people use empty threats, and never follow through, and then wonder why their kids walk all over them. Removing privileges, such as TV and playdates, or clearing their room of toys and then having to earn them back, or whatever consequence it is, can be effective if applied consistently and without you bending. There has to be SOMETHING they care about. Find their currency, and then use it.

Elizabeth - posted on 02/19/2014

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they are already there. my husband is a truck driver and hes gone alot.. when hes here they listen but forget about it when hes not. spanking dont help, neither does grounding. i feel helpless most of the time

Mary - posted on 02/19/2014

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good luck and be persistent because the kids will test your limits but if they see your not backing down they will think twice about their actions.

Mary - posted on 02/17/2014

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i have the same problem at the moment with my 5yr old girl she is bossy and just does what she wants its hard to know what to do and is very annoying i have started follow through on my on my displining i have also put up a reward chart where if she does what she is told or just basically behaves fairly well she gets a star if she gets a star for everyday on a sunday its treat day we do something nice or go away for the day, try it and see hope it helps.

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