Angela - posted on 10/10/2011 ( 11 moms have responded )
Hello, I wanted to get some feedback about the youngest family member in our household. Now, keep in mind, I am not his Biological mom, but will be his step mom someday. Our family has been together the way it is for 2 years. I am concerned for him. We have 3 other children ages 3, 4, and 8, and I have worked with kids with disabilities for years, so I am not "new" to parenting. Now, Carter is 2 and a half, his birthday was in March. Carter has so many troubles. He was born with a cleft pallete, due to having dropped in the birth canal too soon. He only has one kidney. He has tubes in his ears. He has had many surgeries to correct his ears, pallete, etc. He still does not have a fully formed pallete, even after the doctors sutered it closed. Its open toward the very back, so he cant form his words correctly. He drools a lot, and has a runny nose most of the time too. He barley talks, does not like to try. He can sound out vowels, but absolutely refuses to even TRY to say any consonants. just ignores them. So "dada" is sort of like "naaaaaaa aaa" and he growls alot. He is scared of the happy birthday song, or people singing in groups.He will cry and go into the fetal positon during birthday celebrations, just because of this! He shuts down and ignores people he doesnt want to talk to, he just looks away, covers his face or ignores people. If he is here for a weekend, he may not even talk to me until the 3rd day. He throws tantrums if you give him anything to drink but milk, because that is all his mother gives him, because "he likes it". He likes lining things up, like his cars, blocks, anything. He gets upset if you put him at the table and his food is not in front of him before you sit him down. He sometimes hugs. Not always. He does not cry all the time if he gets hurt, like if he falls, or gets a cut, he just gets stone faced. I don't know. I am worried because he is not acting like any of the other three kids. And i know they are all different. Carter sees a speech therapist once a week, but only at his moms, because she insists on leaving his bio father and myself out of any treatments or concerns. Its hard going to the store as a group, because if his father is with, then Carter absolutely freaks out "sounds like someone is ripping him limb from limb" if anyone pushes the cart but daddy, or if he cant see daddy, (but if its Carter and i at the store without daddy, he is fine) or if there are more then about 5 people, or if someone says hi to him, or, it seems, just for the heck of it. He plays about 50/50 with the other kids, and by himself. I am so lost on how to get him to relax, and to try and talk. He is so cold to most people, and not being able to communicate with his mother (though i try, she refuses) on how we can parent together, makes it even harder. I don't know what to do, I just want to find a way to help our little guy!