Being a Step Mother

Samantha - posted on 01/13/2015 ( 3 moms have responded )

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My step son's mother talk badly about me and calls me names in front of my step son. She attacks me and my husband on the phone, and would sometimes taker her aggression out on my step son when he is visiting her during the weekend. My step son is losing respect towards her and is now fighting back when she verbally abuses him. What can we do?

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Samantha - posted on 01/15/2015

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Thank you very much for responding. My husband and I are seeing a family therapist about this as well. But my main concern is my step son, he is just a child who needs guidance and protection. Every time he comes back home from spending a weekend with his mother, he tells us disturbing things. From smoking, drinking and profanity. Like last wee, he spent New Year's Day weekend with the mother, her boyfriend and his 18 year old daughter. My step son said she called her stu**d a$$ and told him to shut up in front of everyone. If he is making it up.... There has to be a reason for him to talk so badly about his mother. I am just concern for his well being and up bringing.... I spoke to him about respect and no matter what happens, that is still his mother. But my husband and I are running out of options and explanation to her actions towards my step son. He is comparing homes and noticing the difference. She is not willing to co parent....

Erin - posted on 01/14/2015

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Great advice from Michelle. These situations can be so challenging at times. There's a great book called "Co-Parenting Works" by Tammy Daughtry I believe. I heard about it on the Focus on the Family radio show a while back. It might be a good book for you and your husband to take a look at. Perhaps if you guys approach her with a better parenting plan of action, she'll be willing to listen for the good of her son.

I hope that helps. Hang in there!

#CoParentingWorks #Livn'ItUpInCO

Michelle - posted on 01/14/2015

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All you can do is not react to her. When she start attacking you or your husband over the phone, let her know that you will only discuss issues regarding her son and if she starts on other things you will hang up, and do it.
When your step son is confiding in you don't agree with him, you need to be seen to be supporting the relationship. Let him know that you understand he's hurting but she is still his Mum and needs to be treated as such.

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