Being a Step mum

Clare - posted on 08/02/2015 ( 6 moms have responded )

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So who has step kids that make there skin crawl ? each time they come its the same problems with them, hygiene or lack of,no respect,eat like there pigs,cause arguments with my child,cant think for themselves etc the lists go on.

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Clare - posted on 08/02/2015

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he does something about the problems for 1 or two weeks but then thinks its all sorted and doesn't carry on with any discipline he has stated eg take away tablet/tv time.

♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 08/02/2015

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Counseling is the only thing I can suggest. Perhaps some individual counseling for you as well. It is quite obvious that you have no love for these children, and they can sense it. It is not helping your situation any at all. You need to take into account (as I stated before) that these kids didn't ask to be put into this situation, and by treating them as if they are some horrible little monsters, you are not helping.
You may think that they have no idea how you feel about them, but trust me, they do, and it is not helping the situation.

Clare - posted on 08/02/2015

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We as a couple have addressed the issues many many times but they do a full circle and if its not one problem its another, we think we have finally fixed a problem only to move to the next recurring problem ,then to fix that only to have the original problem come back. our house is calm and relaxing when there not here but when they are its a shit fight of trying to get them to respect our house and our rule. i say we as my husband and i work together to fix the problems but then they just go away and come back with more. im over the messy pants the wetting of pants the constant need to eat like there pigs in a trough. they are 7 and 9 and cry at the drop of a hat when they don't get there own way they lie and steal. and are rude.

♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 08/02/2015

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Well, I'd have to say that 1) The kids are the same kids he had when you started seeing him, and committed to the relationship, so why, NOW, have you decided they 'make your skin crawl'? Personally, if I was one of the kids, and I got that very unwelcome feeling from my step mother, I'd maybe be likely to be worse...because I know it gets on her nerves. (That would be a kid point of view, right there)
2) If his kids are THAT horrible, why did you not address these issues before committing and marrying?

You need to remember that the kids didn't ask for the situation that has been thrust upon them. They didn't ask for their parents not to be compatible, they didn't ask for split homes, and they most certainly didn't ask to have some woman who obviously hates them to be brought into their lives with her judgement and lack of understanding. Perhaps you need to work with your husband towards a solution, rather than concentrating on how 'horrible' these children are, and work on being a POSITIVE addition to their lives?

Like Michelle asks, what is their father doing in this equation?

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