being a step parent

Ashley - posted on 09/06/2016 ( 9 moms have responded )

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so my son and I have been living with my boyfriend and his son for the past 9 months now and we are not on the same page with anything. It can be very frustrating when i tell his son not to do something and he has a millions answers back. I was raised way differently and children do not speak to adults like that no matter what the situation is and i dont know how to handle this because i dont think its fair that we cant speak about this and be on the same page. does anyone else have this problem? also i find myself and my son frequently being left out while him and his son go spend time together but the 4 of us never spend time together and if i can i will take his son with me to do stuff but he will never offer to take my son to do anything with them. i think he is scared his son is going to get upset because he has a relationship with another child. We just dont all get treated equally and i dont think it is fair

9 Comments

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Rachel - posted on 09/08/2016

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What about telling him how you feel , sit down have a dinner with him and let him know how you truely feel... unless you did that already....

♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 09/08/2016

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Living together is living together. It does not a step parent make.

Get some counseling. Get on the same page. Learn about your boyfriend's son's disability. Get to understand it.

Michelle - posted on 09/08/2016

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Like I said, you 2 adults need to sit down and draw up the house rules and consequences for not following them.
Then you BOTH need to enforce them.
I would also suggest counseling as you need to be able to communicate.

Ashley - posted on 09/08/2016

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Ok well obviously we have already discussed marriage and If we live together what's the difference between step mom
And daddy's girlfriend? He should respect me as an adult. And yes we don't communication that well but we are trying to work on it.

Ashley - posted on 09/08/2016

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10 years. We always liked each other but it just was never at a good time so it never happened until around Christmas time last year and he asked me to move in right away and I didn't think about us talking about rules and stuff at the time because when we talked in the beginning it sounded like we were on the same page. And then things started to change. And his son has dyspraxia which he avoids completely, and he also has seperation anxiety and is scared of being alone and even go upstairs alone , and sometimes sleep alone... which is annoying at this point! But what am I supposed a to do... I do love him and his kid but I can't stand watching him challenge is authority right in front of me and not even say anything to him because his 8 year old son asked him not to punish him in front of me.

♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 09/06/2016

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Blending is difficult, and you cannot simply throw two families together and expect the magic fairy to make it work.

1) you are NOT a step parent, and neither is he. You are daddy's girlfriend. He is mommy's boyfriend.

2) moving in together when kids are involved means months of discussion, making sure you ARE both on the same page with the kids. It also requires blending the kids, which takes time, and again, effort.

Rachel - posted on 09/06/2016

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It is not fair, im so sorry you are going through this but you really need to sit down with your boyfriens and let him know how you feel. It is not good to put kid's n between u n him...ive neen through it already

Michelle - posted on 09/06/2016

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You 2 need to sit down and really discuss the rules of the house. It needs to be made clear that everyone has the same rules or it won't work.
Blending families is hard work and takes a lot of communication. It doesn't sound like you have that with your boyfriend.
How long did you know each other before moving in?

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