Being a step parent

User - posted on 08/30/2015 ( 1 mom has responded )




Ok so I have two boys, 5 and 3, whose dad passed away. I am now in a relationship with a man who has a 2 year old and I am pregnant. My problem is I have been contemplating leaving for several months because of him and his son. When his son comes over he has free reign to do anything, and I mean anything!!!! He kicks my two pound dog, he throws anything and everything across the house...he even hit me in the stomach with a sanding block two weeks ago...he screams, smacks, destroys my stuff and his father won't do anything about it and loses his mind if I tell him he needs to sit in timeout at least(i am not permitted to discipline him in any way) my kids on the other hand, according to him, are entitled, disrespectful, uneducated, tyrants who have not been disciplined enough. My kids throw balls, they get out in time out, when my youngest and his son went head to head in a full blown show down I spanked my son but he ran and picked his son up telling me my son was a monster and he started it( Even when my son had all the bruises and his son was standing over top my son kicking him) because our house has a smaller kitchen I ask for everyone to stay out of my way while I cook and unless my kids are helping set the table they do but just today his son came in punched me in the stomach and said get out daddy's house. I honestly don't know if I can handle this anymore. I so badly wanted to Bend that kid over my knee and lay into him as I would if one of my kids acted like that but before I could even tell my fiance about it he asked what I did to his son. I honestly hate this kid and I know once this baby is born it too will be unsafe when he is around. His mother does nothing to punish him nor does she believe he needs to be punished but that my kids should be sent away for a lesson. I try to be fair but I am tired of punishing my kids for doing what his son is allowed to do and they see how differently they are treated. My five year old even said that he wants to go back to memaws because Brandon doesn't like them that's why he's mean to them and not little Brandon. I really need advice!!!! I've cried myself to sleep thinking something is wrong with me but after him punching me, kicking my dog, throwing his shoe and breaking my 400$$$ tv all today and not even being put in time out I've had it.


~♥Little Miss - posted on 08/30/2015




Well, this situation sucks. You are pregnant with his child? Assuming that you are (but we all know what happens when you assume), this man is going to be in your life no matter what. That does not mean you have to be in a relationship with him. I wouldn't want to be. It does not seem like either of you like each others children. That is NOT healthy, and will get worse. Neither of you respect one anothers parenting skills (or lack their of). This does not sound like a strong family unit to be.

I do NOT agree with spanking. And you have no right to hit his child. I have to get that off of my chest. It really isn't your place to discipline his boy at all, but when he is getting physically violent with you, there should be something done by his father. You can certainly tell them both to leave your home, or you leave his. It is not clear if you are living together, or that his son comes over to your house with him? I am a bit confused by this.

If there are this many problems now, the only 3 options. You can both go to couples counseling, AND family counseling, leave, or stay and be miserable. I like the leave option.

Best of luck love. This is a tough situation.

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