JoCaryn - posted on 09/07/2013 ( 14 moms have responded )
I'm 25... I have a 4 year old son and a 1 year old daughter. Two years ago when I remarried I gained a 7 year old daughter and a 4 year old daughter. Oh yeah... my son and step daughter are only a month apart and they were both TWO when I remarried! DUN DUN DUN. I don't really have a question other than, how in the world do some of you do it? We have my step daughters every other weekend and we've set it up so that we have all 4 kids at the same time, otherwise they would NEVER see eachother. This is where it gets hard. I LOVE MY HUSBAND! Everyone says that if you cant love the kids as your own than don't marry the person... but what about when you loved them as much as you could and things were great... and then things change. Some people say adapt, but its hard to adapt to the change when I only see my step daughters every other weekend. When my husband and I first started dating and up until the last 6 months I had a great relationship with my step daughters. That is 3 years of good times through trips to the park, homework, taking the oldest to school, 1000 of meals and even the hard part of discipline. Now if I get on to my 7 year old step daughter she spends the entire weekend pouting and sometimes refusing to eat. My four year old step daughter was ALWAYS a handful. but not in a bad way. you can just tell she's her fathers! lol really stubborn, really energetic and REALLY NEEDY. It's different now though. Now she throws a fit when her mom drops her off and crys off and on all weekend, wont eat anything that's not in the form of a chicken nugget or tater tot (I know that's not odd, but she throws up if you put anything else in front of her and her mom says she doesn't do that at home) and she will ask every couple of hours when she gets to go to her mommy from the time I pick her up to the time I drop her off (I totally don't mind that she wants to be with her mom, but her dad hardly sees her and it seems like it hurts his feelings and maybe even makes him wonder if I make them feel that way ) =(!!!!!
that was the hard part to explain. like I said I have ALWAYS loved my step daughters, but I have never felt the same attachment to them that I feel towards my daughter and son. when its me and my bio children I do a lot more. I have more of a desire to make grocery, mall, movie, library and/or park trips. My husband is starting to catch on to this and he sees it as serious favoritism, but its not that!!! FOUR KIDS IS A LOT MORE THAN TWO KIDS!!!!!!! My husband doesn't realize that because while he has always worked ive always stayed home and he has absolutely no idea what its like to cater to 2 more kids every other weekend. I feel REALLY alone these days, because I had to stop talking to my mom about it anymore because she is super critical and really quick to say im doing everything wrong and like I said.... my husband is much less than understanding. when I tell him the kids stressed me out he doesn't look at all 4 kids he looks his 2 daughters and my son and our daughter as separate and sees favoritism.
I think it is very important to add to this jumbled up rant that I am very good friends with the girls mom and we talk about everything pertaining my step daughters. I know that there is no brainwashing going on and it baffles me that my step daughters tell her how much they like me!!!!???? I'm just at a point where my stepmothering life has stopped making sense and I needed to write it all out. ha! I'm a much better writer than this and definitely more organized, but right now I am making cookies, getting 4 kids bathed and dressed and taking all of them to a carnival.... by myself. My mind is pretty fried and my time is very limited! thanks to anyone who can bare to read more than the first sentence of this craziness!