being shoved by a child

Anna - posted on 05/16/2013 ( 107 moms have responded )

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My boyfriends 9 ye old hits and shoves me. What can I do to protect myself?

MOST HELPFUL POSTS

Michelle - posted on 05/20/2013

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********************Mod Warning**********************

ENOUGH!!!!! If you ladies can't drop it then I will lock this thread. Get back on topic or stop posting please.

Michelle,
WtCoM Mod.

Danielle Elizabeth - posted on 05/22/2013

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I was never hit in any way as a child , and I still would never have thought of hitting an adult. Spanking is the easy way out in my opinion , instead of putting real effort into teaching kids right from wrong and showing them by example then parents spank so they don't have to do the real hard work . I never want my child to fear me. I am her rock and protector and not someone she should fear. There are non violent ways to discipline a child that work so why resort to hitting? I never got so much as detention in my life and it's not bc I was fearful of my parents it's bc they instilled a strong sense of morals into me and taught me only positive behavior will get me what I want out of life. My husband was hit as a child and once he became too big to hit, his mom had no means of reinforcing bad behavior and my husband was a holy terror . His grandma showed him love and guidance which was the only reason he got his life on track, and he contributes his success in life to her bc of it.

♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 05/21/2013

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I fail to see how Anna physically enforcing anything with this child will have any effect. What I've found MOST effective when dealing with children that have severe attitude problems stemming from (most likely) the disruption in their lives after their parents split is to show the kid some LOVE.

POSITIVE ATTENTION. Gets a hell of a lot further than screaming at the kid, and a whole hell of a lot further than beating him.

And I'm sorry, but, Karolyn, if you'd laid your hands on my kid, REGARDLESS OF WHAT HE DID, then I'd report you for assault, and would press charges. Because if you can't figure out a NON VIOLENT way of handling confrontation, ESPECIALLY WITH A KID under the age of 17, then, honey, there are more problems there.

But, like I said before, each to her own. If screaming and "lunging" at your kid works for you, then fine, so be it. If spanking works, AND YOU ARE THE LEGAL GUARDIAN/CUSTODIAN of the child, then fine, so be it.

But, like Dove has so patiently pointed out to you many, many, many times on this thread, Anna spanking a child that she is not the legal custodian of is illegal advice, will land her in jail (potentially) and will do no good whatsoever.

Whereas, if she's had the conversation with her partner regarding his son's behaviour, and it is not helping, she needs to pack her shit and get out before her own child is more affected.

Dove - posted on 05/20/2013

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If anyone dared to lay a hand on my child... ESPECIALLY a 'stepmother'... they would find themselves in jail for assault. So... think very carefully about the 'advice' you give out... especially considering the fact that this boy's biological mother does not encourage him to respect the op. If the op touches this boy I have no doubt that the mother will press charges.

OP: Your biggest issue is with your boyfriend. He should not tolerate his son treating you this way and I would not stay in a relationship where a child WAY old enough to know better was being aggressive towards me. Perhaps some counseling with the boyfriend would help... otherwise I'd be out of there.

Cecilia - posted on 05/16/2013

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Then it isn't about you dealing with the child. You need to deal with your boyfriend. He needs to understand that something needs to be done. There should be a set consequence for pushing and hitting. For example if he pushes you he will be grounded, or will lose his favorite thing. This way when it happens you can punish him with the determined punishment even when the father is away.

The boyfriend can either be on your side or you need to get out of there. What happens when this child is 16 and punching you? What happens if you're pregnant again and he shoves you and you fall? You need to tell him it either has a punishment or you have to go. Seriously that's the answer. Take your son and dip.

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Danielle Elizabeth - posted on 05/22/2013

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Ok we are clearly from two totally different planets, and I honestly and truly can not comprehend your point of view for the life of me. It sounds to me your so wrapped up in making sure no one ever disrespects you that you don't realize the feelings of power that comes along with your attitude is not very important in the scheme of things. I wish you luck and I hope you might consider of a different point of view in the future.

Michelle - posted on 05/22/2013

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************Mod Warning**********

I am locking this thread as the OP hasn't been back for a while and it has only turned into a spanking debate instead of helpful advice for the OP.

Michelle,
WtCoM Mod.

Karolyn - posted on 05/22/2013

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Danielle, I'm nice as pie until I am disrespected. I speak my mind and will not run or walk away from a situation just because it may become violent. I am not afraid of violence and will not run away from it. I will not teach my kids that either.

And that is clearly where we differ.

Danielle Elizabeth - posted on 05/22/2013

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I had to be extremely consistent and Always follow through with what I said I was going to do in order for my method of discipline to work. Believe me I have a very independent and spirited young woman on my hands , but I still was able to teach her without spanking

Danielle Elizabeth - posted on 05/22/2013

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I have never been in a situation where someone has wanted to lay their hands on me. I treat people with respect and they respond with respect. I will teach my kids life skills at handling differences of opinion while remaining respectful and how to walk away from a situation if she senses it escalating towards violence. Teaching a child how to avoid becoming involved in physical altercations is much more productive then teaching them to physically attack someone who has wronged them. I believe I have never had to face someone wanting to" beat my ass" bc if the way I conduct myself and I'll teach my kid to conduct herself in the same manner

Karolyn - posted on 05/22/2013

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Danielle, to answer your question, no kid is the same. The talking you have done with your kid probably worked for your kid, the talking I did with my daughter didn't work in some situations. Some I spanked her.

Danielle Elizabeth - posted on 05/22/2013

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I would love an answer to my question from a pro spanker. If both of our children are well behaved , respectful, and happy kids but you spank and I don't then why use spanking if you can accomplish your same parenting goals without the use of physical violence?

Karolyn - posted on 05/22/2013

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Please do walk away.

Anyway, my child is 6, Jodi.

My daughter does not like violence, but if she is hit she won't just call the cops or run...she will defend herself. Exactly like she was taught.

~♥Little Miss - posted on 05/22/2013

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I have to walk away. This thread is just going in circles. I have to be done with this. It is a waste of time.

~♥Little Miss - posted on 05/22/2013

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Yup, still have you all revved up since you cannot get my name right huh? I love when newbies do that. Shows their true colors and lack of debating skills with the immature personal attack on their names.

And to answer your question, I don't know you or your daughter, you could be telling us what we want to hear to prove a point. Or you could be telling the truth. Never know will we? And violence shouldn't be in ANY of her problem solving skills "how come my daughter isn't solving all of her problems with violence, if I'm teaching her that?"

Karolyn - posted on 05/22/2013

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So Miss Little Girl, how come my daughter isn't solving all of her problems with violence, if I'm teaching her that?

~♥Little Miss - posted on 05/22/2013

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And yes, hitting a child after they have hit you IS showing them that hitting is the way to solve a problem.

ETA: Especially when you are HITTING them to teach them NOT to hit. Yeah, that sounds logical.

~♥Little Miss - posted on 05/22/2013

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We are having this conversation because of the same bullshit you are saying back. You think what we are all saying is stupid, but how do you think your statements look to us? That you beat up a 9 year old kid that wasn't even yours to prove a point. That you are violent to other adults for hitting you but you don't even figure out what the source is from. Defending yourself is totally different than what you are talking about but you don't see that. You also don't see and will never understand that there are other ways to deal with children. You don't even want to entertain the idea cause you enjoy showing your power with hitting. And nope, I would never let you watch my children, especially my daughter who is 3 years old in in the epitome of terrible 2's, and 3's. So no, I don't think you could watch her without hitting her. Why? Because she is difficult at her worst.

Danielle Elizabeth - posted on 05/22/2013

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I'm not saying I think your a bad parent Karolyn or a bad person. I dont think that. I Just wanted to see if you could have an open mind about spanking not being the answer. If you and I can both meet our goals as parents and have well behaved, respectful, happy kids but you spank and I don't then why use spanking if you can accomplish your goals without it?

Dove - posted on 05/22/2013

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Yep... which is why this isn't a relationship she should be in. The boyfriend obviously don't respect HER enough to make sure his son doesn't attack her, so why the heck would she want to stay with the man in the first place?

Karolyn - posted on 05/22/2013

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Dove...*sigh* I am not saying that my first option would be to spank this kid...just like the teachers first option would not be to spank my kid. CONSULT THE PARENT FIRST! ANNA DID THAT! NOTHING HAPPENED!!

Danielle Elizabeth - posted on 05/22/2013

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I'm just saying that her mother probably though there was no other alternative to handle her child's behavior then to hit her, and that was obviously not the case. I believe this true for all situations and there is always an alternative to spanking even if the parents can't see it in the heat of the moment

Dove - posted on 05/22/2013

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You do realize that this boy's biological mother does not encourage this boy to be respectful to his 'stepmother', right? Maybe THAT is why he is lashing out at the woman... in which case... spanking him absolutely will make the situation a million times worse because I can almost guarantee that she is just looking for a reason to go after this 'stepmother'.

I don't care if you choose to spank your OWN kids. I, myself, am actually not anti-spanking... but you'd better believe I would flip out (legally, of course) on ANYONE else that dared to lay a hand on one of my children.

The OP has zero support from the boy's father or mother in this situation... that isn't her fault and it certainly isn't the boy's fault, but THAT is the issue that needs addressed or it's not going to matter what method she uses on the kid.

And this is getting really old that a certain few posters can't grasp these concepts. Eh... whatever. lol

Dove - posted on 05/22/2013

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Sure.... but if a teacher takes it upon themselves to spank your child.... you will be ok with that... because she IS in charge of your child and since it is ok for this woman to spank this boy... it is ok for a teacher to spank your child.

You really don't see the point I'm making here, do you?

And absolutely I would call the police if someone hit me.... locking up people stupid enough to hit someone is there JOB.

Danielle Elizabeth - posted on 05/22/2013

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The alternative to spanking might be a little extra work and require the parent to reinforce acceptable behavior more often but its well worth it to me. If this mother would have just prepared for a 5 year old to be stick in a waiting room and put the same amount of effort into talking with her child that she was putting into talking to her friend, then she would never have had the child running amuck in the doctors office in the first place

Jodi - posted on 05/22/2013

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"But believe that the script would totally flip if I was sitting there and the kid ran up and punched me in the face and the mom said nothing."

Yes, but if you turned around and punched that kid back in the face you'd be charged with assault.

Jodi - posted on 05/22/2013

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I will add, we don't really know what methods have been tried with this child, and hitting is never a true answer. If a 9 year old is hitting and shoving, there is something else going on. Children don't do this for no reason, they generally do it because they have a problem with something and are acting out. Maybe he isn't coping with the custody arrangements. Maybe he is not being disciplined in both homes consistently (more than likely), maybe he is extremely unhappy, maybe he feels he needs more attention. I don't know, but that is something that you and your boyfriend need to figure out. Most children behave in a certain way for a reason. Sometimes it can be tricky to figure it out, but unless you try to get to the bottom of it, nothing you do is going to help. Punishment could potentially compound the situation.

Also, as a step-mother myself, I would never lay my hands on my husband's children. Ever. We have been married for over 9 years. It is not my place. Sure, I am an adult in the house, and that should be respected, but respect is a two-way street. And if my son's father's girlfriend laid a hand on him, you'd better believe I'd be on that doorstep the minute I found out (and I would).

You need to discuss this situation with your boyfriend and come to a satisfactory resolution together. This is HIS responsibility too.

Karolyn - posted on 05/22/2013

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A kid has the right to hit an adult back when they are being spanked for something they've done wrong??? (complete bullsh*t)

And hitting a child first means that they have the right to strike back? You know how I know thats bullsh*t? Because my 6 year old daughter knows the difference, why don't you? I'm over the dumb stuff you're saying. You know damn well there is a differemce between fighting and spanking. If you don't, why are we even having this conversation? Maybe you don't know how to teach the difference between such things, but I have soo...no.

Danielle, funny thing. I have also entertained a strangers little kids when they were on the verge of being hit just for being a kid. Of course kids need to be entertained.

The crazy thing is, my neighbors send me their kids all the time. Kids love me, which is so ironic about this all. Yet, I'm violent. LoL Every parent that knows me knows that I spank kids for doing outrageous sh*t.

See, that kid was doing what a kid will do. Running around and being restless. Kids do that. How can you spank a kid for being exactly what they are supposed to be? But believe that the script would totally flip if I was sitting there and the kid ran up and punched me in the face and the mom said nothing.

Jodi - posted on 05/22/2013

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Ah, yes, because hitting a child back shows them how hitting isn't ever ok...... :\

Danielle Elizabeth - posted on 05/22/2013

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Karolyn, I was at the doctors yesterday and there was a little girl there with her mom and her moms friend. The little girl was restless ( how could a 5 year old not be in a dr office?) and the mom told her she needed to sit down before she got her ass smacked. I was reading a book to my daughter and the little girl gravitated towards me and sat down to listen to the story. I talked to her and gave her some of the snacks I brought along for my daughter and she was perfectly content. The mother said I must be some kind of teacher bc her kid is bad and never sits still. I'm thinking to myself, your child is not bad she Just needed your attention instead of you ignoring her and expecting her to sit like a perfect angel. This is why I am against spanking bc there is always a better way to handle a child then physical violence

~♥Little Miss - posted on 05/22/2013

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I have got to stop this conversation. Quite frankly I don't care. You (general you) want to beat your kids, go for it. Poor kids though. Don't lay a hand on another persons child. If you do,(general you) I really hope the parents take legal actions. Cause if someone laid a hand on my child in an aggressive manner, they will be prosecuted to the fullest extent. I don't care who they are, or what my kid did. You go and find the parent. NOT deal with another persons child yourself.

PS. And Cecelia is right. If a child is being hit, beaten, or spanked by an adult, then they should be able to defend themselves. Unfortunately, it would probably result in the child being taken to the hospital if a kid fought back from his or her adult attacker.

Cecilia - posted on 05/22/2013

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So you teach your child that it's okay to hit you back as long as you hit them first, right? The child hitting you back does qualify for self-defense. The child hitting you back by your standards does not make them violent. So, by your standards you are being violent to your child by hitting them before they hit you first.

~♥Little Miss - posted on 05/22/2013

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Clearly I frustrate you if you cannot say may name correctly. That is usually a LARGE sign of frustration, and taunting. It fits your mo. And, you answered the questions exactly how I presumed you would. So yeah, violently.

There is so much here, it is unbelievable. Like for instance, why that person hit you in the first place. I don't really care, so you don't need to share. But that is a point in itself.

Karolyn - posted on 05/22/2013

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Little Miss Girl, you don't frustrate me, plsase remember that. The only thing that frustrates me here is that the little boy didn't not get his ass whooped.

So now I'm violent because I defend myself AGAINST violence with violence...lmaooo okay...so if someone hit you, you're not going to hit them back?! Isn't that called self defense?? The fact that I was spanked makes me defend myself in physical situations??! Wtf!! Lmfao I am seriously amused by this. So if someone punches you...you don't do it back? Okay...sure.

And I will never hit anyone first, I am strongly against that. But I will beat an ass if someone touches me. Call the cops??! I think I can handle someone hitting me on my own...I don't need to call the cops to come apprehend someone that I can handle myself.

I teach my daughter to defend herself...if someone hits her, she needs to do it back. IF SOMEONE HITS HER FIRST! And my daughter hasn't hit anyone first since she was like 2.

And as for the teacher comment...how many times am I gonna say that I WILL PERSONALLY HANDLE MY CHILD so a teacher would never have to go through that.

KeRashawn - posted on 05/22/2013

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Oh my goodness, this post have gotten out of HAND!!! everyone is entitled to their own opinion. Whether she spanks the kid or not, she will still have to find a way to teach the child about respect. And for mothers to be on this post lashing out at each other has really gone too far!!! I've had my arguments on this post with a certain SOMEONE, and yet, the same person still hasn't stopped. I still think that the next person should not be judged or criticized on how the raise their kids. If the child's father gives her permission to spank the child, then she has all the right too! If not, then she just has to go a different way about the situation, but she still has to find a way to receive respect from a CHILD. and I know myself, if this was my child, he would not be doing such a thing to me. So to the ones whose saying otherwise, you guys are not in this situation. And if it were you, tell me please how would you handle this? And im not here to argue, but this needs to have some understanding that the next parent shouldn't be judged on how they raise their kids!! Whether they spank them or not.

Cecilia - posted on 05/22/2013

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"I don't know what fairytale you live in, but if an adult hits me...I will literally beat their ass and thats life."

So when your child becomes an adult and beats the shit out of you, please realize this is life. that is not some fairytale shit, that is real. How many people who shoot or kill their parents and say well they beat my ass my whole life and they snap. Yep, you are correct when an adult puts their hands on someone- they have it coming right back at them.

~♥Little Miss - posted on 05/22/2013

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Just think of how proud you are going to be of your daughter the first time she hits someone and gets in trouble. Interesting. Will you be mad at her for hitting someone because she got mad? Or will you encourage her to "defend" herself? Ok...I will try not to post again. Had that final thought.

Danielle Elizabeth - posted on 05/22/2013

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It's funny how you say spanking does not breed violence, but you were spanked and I would consider you a violent person by my definition. The name calling you use when referring to children, your general attitude on this post, and your own admissions of violence.

~♥Little Miss - posted on 05/22/2013

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Excuse me? You can either address me by my name, or don't address me at all. Don't lash out because you are getting frustrated. And yeah, clearly you cannot actually answer my question because you have no regard for law or consequence. The next person you lay your hand on may press charges, and others will follow. That is setting an awesome example for your child. Clearly you are a violent person, so I understand fully why you don't and cannot teach your child without hitting her. Nuff said. I am walking away from this before I say things that I regret.

Dove - posted on 05/22/2013

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So you are ok with a teacher spanking your daughter without your knowledge and permission?

And we definitely live on different planets because if any adult hit me... I would pull out my phone and call 911 and they would go straight to jail.

Karolyn - posted on 05/22/2013

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To answer your question Little Girl, the adults I have hit, beat whatnot...I received no real consequence. I didn't go to jail for it, I just taught them not to touch me. And, it worked.

Karolyn - posted on 05/22/2013

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Uhmm...let me just say that adult on adult violence is totally different. I defend myself and will continue to until I die. If another adult puts their hands on me, I'm not going to say "okay, you know what? I'm spanking you because that is wrong! You don't hit adults!"

This adult is not a child, they are not in a learning process, they are not still developing life skills...they are basically done learning how to be in the world. So needless to say, things will get hectic. I don't know what fairytale you live in, but if an adult hits me...I will literally beat their ass and thats life. I don't care who, I will not warn. I will not care. That is the difference between spanking a child and fighting another adult.

Honestly, I get its illegal and I may be too self involved because I can't stress enough how many f*cks I don't give about whats legal or illegal. In situations like these, I would whoop the kids ass. End of story.

So Anna, don't take my advice but I'm just saying if I was you, that kid would be a little gentleman by now.

Dove - posted on 05/22/2013

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I take it Karolyn would also be in favor of a teacher spanking her daughter without her knowledge or permission....

~♥Little Miss - posted on 05/22/2013

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So tell me Karolyn, is hitting an adult violence? Tell me what the consequences could be for a grown adult to hit another adult, or using your best catch phrase "beating their ass" tell me.....please...what could happen to the adult that was hitting?

♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 05/22/2013

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Karolyn, what don't you get?

Anna is NOT a step parent. She is NOT a legal custodian or guardian. She is a girlfriend, not in a legally recognized relationship with the child's father, and SHE HAS NOT BEEN GIVEN THE AUTHORITY TO DISCIPLINE WITH PHYSICAL ACTION.

It would be illegal for her to physically lay hands on this child, because he is NOT her biological child, and his biological parents HAVE NOT given her permission to physically discipline him.

Her options are to speak with the child's parents regarding the situation and come to an agreement on who does what and when. Since this child's father is not enforcing discipline, Anna needs to pack her shit and remove herself and her own biological child from a potentially dangerous situation.

That's the option here. There is no spanking option! There is no "whooping" option, no "beating" option. She either passively disciplines, or she gets out. I'd be in favor of the getting out.

Karolyn - posted on 05/22/2013

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First off, I never said I didn't spank my daughter, I said I never had to spank her for hitting an adult...get it right.

My daughter is a human, wtf else would she be? I birthed her, I take care of her, I work my ass off to feed her, clothe her, make sure she has everything she needs...I don't have to earn her respect I deserve it. And I will get it.

My daughter knows of consequence. She knows choosing the wrong choice will result in disappointment, but there are certain things she will not get to choose. For instance, I spanked my daughter for continuously running in the street. After all the "non violent" methods didn't get through to her, that did.

And I am not my daughters bestie, I am her mom. I'm not going to sit around and wait to earn respect from her. Wtf? That sounds crazy.

I just don't get why Anna is good enough to take care of this kid but not whoop his ass.

Danielle Elizabeth - posted on 05/22/2013

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Proper discipline can give your child the tools she will need to navigate through the toughest periods of life. Showing your child that certain behaviors will cause her to feel dissapointed in herself and how positive behavior will help her accomplish her goals is much more beneficial then teaching a child if they do something wrong they will get hit

Cecilia - posted on 05/22/2013

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I love that there are very few spankers in here, yet us non-spankers seem to have very well mannered children despite what ever leads her to believe that we are the reason for the decline in manners in the world.

The reason for unruly children in the world is lack of parenting. This is the case here. LACK OF PARENTING. The fact that neither parent wants to be a parent here. As I said before this is not her problem with a child. This is a problem with her boyfriend. He needs to learn to step up as the parent and say "that's enough!! Here is what we're going to do...." They need to work together to get through it. If he isn't willing to be a parent then fine. She is now a single mom of her 2 year old if need be.

She does not need to continue to be in an abusive home. That's what this is, an abusive home. The answer to how to stop being abused (be it an adult or child) is to leave. The boyfriend in this case is not stopping another person from abusing her, thus not a great person to be around.

Danielle Elizabeth - posted on 05/22/2013

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Thank you Little Miss, and I always enjoy reading your posts as well. I wanted to explain one more point . Smacking a child does not show them real world consequences. If I decided to behave out of control , then someone twice my size is not going to come and " beat my ass". I will show my kids the real consequences of improper behavior and how it will negatively impact their lives as well as their fellings of self worth .

Danielle Elizabeth - posted on 05/22/2013

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We all have the right to chose our own parenting method , but we do not have the right to chose how to discipline someone else's child . I wanted to explain that there is a non violent way to discipline a child , but it's obvious your not willing to see that , but legally it is not ok to touch a child that's not yours and it's not wise to give illegal advice to someone. The kids who are out of control most likely receive NO discipline which is not What I'm advocating at all, but I am advocating non violent discipline which has a much more substantial impact on a child then smacking does

~♥Little Miss - posted on 05/22/2013

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Danielle, you have a very good way with your words. You are saying what I am thinking perfectly. I love reading your posts.

♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 05/22/2013

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"You all will probably be one of those moms I see at the mall struggling with three bad ass kids and getting all frustrated because you're solely against demanding respect from little brats you take care of."

ROFLMAO...

Gee, Thanks, Karolyn, but my kids are grown, well respected, well mannered, well behaved, contributing members of society. I don't DEMAND a damned thing from my kids, but I treat them as humans, respecting them (at appropriate levels as they grew) and in turn, being respected by them.

So quit telling us that we're all failures at parenting, because it's quite obvious that, even with different parenting styles, differing opinions, and differing methods not everyone needs to beat their kids to get their point across.

Yes I SPANKED. I popped on diapered butts, and a couple of times a quick pop as they got older, but I also realized that I get a lot further with communication. Plus, having been BEATEN as a child, I do know the difference between a pop on the butt and a beating.

And, I'd also like to point out that the OP in this case is NOT a step parent, she's a girlfriend. The lack of legal (marriage) relationship gives her no wiggle room in the disciplinary arena. She has no disciplinary authority unless given so by the child's parents. Who obviously haven't given that authority, and who would (both) probably take action against her should she abuse this child.

But you go ahead and gloat that the rest of us are chumps that have no clue about the "real" world (as you see it, anyway)

~♥Little Miss - posted on 05/22/2013

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And yeah, spanking has been around forever. It does not mean it is ok. Racism has also been around forever. So has religious intolerance. So has violence and war. I think all of those need to come to an end. It is all narrow minded views that can be easily changed with tolerance and understanding instead of lashing out because "that is how I was raised" train of thought.

~♥Little Miss - posted on 05/22/2013

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Actually in your past post talking about your daughter you have stated you have never had to hit her...your words

"One of my daughters is 6 and she knows waaaay better than to ever lay her hands on an adult...I never had to hit her to get that through her mind."

But then you say

"My daughter has emotions and I am so proud of my daughter for who she is at the ripe age of 6. She's smart, generous and a beautiful person. And she has ben spanked. And its not easy to spank her because I love her. But it has worked. My daughter is not going to be some angry little brat like this kid. Ever."

So which is it? Have you spanked her or "beat her ass ever"?

See I love my kids so much and respect them so much that I DON'T spank them. They are people. They have emotions. IMO you are wrong. You are so stuck in the mind that spanking is the only way, that you cannot see there are different ways to discipline a child without raising a hand on them. And you know what? Those parents that you are referring to that have out of control kids, how the hell do you know that when they get home they are not going to get spanked? You don't know. That is the point. See those parents may have control of their violence in public, but you have no idea what happens behind closed doors.

Just because you think your daughter has not been effected by spanking, doesn't mean she hasn't. You don't know how it made her heart feel. Or her stomach. Or her self esteem. I am sure your daughter is wonderful, we all like to think our children are. But don't turn a blind eye to how spanking truly made her feel. Think about when YOU were spanked as a kid. Don't lie to yourself and say you knew it was the best thing for you. Think of how it made you feel in that moment. I sure as shit remember how it made me feel.

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