Belly button pierced

Ally - posted on 12/24/2013 ( 16 moms have responded )

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My daughter has been begging to get her belly button pierced and I told her if she got all A's she could bleach her hair and now that she has all A's she has changed her mind that instead of getting her hair dyed she wants her belly pierced. She cannot get her ears pierced because of past events and she has a cartilage piercing. She keeps telling me that it is not fair because she can't get her ears pierced. I promised my youngest last year if she got all A's she could get a puppy and she did so I got her a Pomeranian. Now my daughter who wants the piercing is saying that it is not fair. I some what agree but I feel she is too young but she's telling me that she wants to do something special for being a teenager (she's 13, almost 14). Should I let her get it pierced?

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Mardi - posted on 12/25/2013

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Sorry, but a puppy for good grades??? What are you trying to do?? Animals aren't rewards, they are lifetime commitments???

As for the belly button peircing, NO. Wasn't on the table, and isn't for negotiation.

I'm guessing your one of those parents who will reward their child with a car come graduation and teaching your children to equate love with money.

Get back to basics.

How about you tell your kids, if they dont get good grades, they wont get into good schools and wont have wonderful careers, but their future life is their choice, so to make the effort while they can and they will reap the rewards in their future. You could also encourage them in to part time, minimum wage jobs early, so they get to appreciate what an education could do for them.

A hair dye job, is appropriate reward, a puppy isn't, and you are showing blatent favourtism. No wonder the older one is pushing the boundries.
If you have rules, stick to them, one give and they will bend you over backwards to get what they want in the future.

Xemoxprincessx - posted on 12/25/2013

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noooo do not let her get her belly button pierced!! have you seen young girls with piercings like that? they look like sluts(not saying she is one) and it sends the wrong message to men. please for the love of god make her wait until shes ATLEAST 16 for that. any piercings other than ears would make her seem older and she would get the attention of older men which im sure you would rather not happen

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yes. Here you have to be 16 or older to get a piercing done alone. So you would have to go ad fill out all the forms. Also it is done with a needle not a gun.

Ariana - posted on 12/24/2013

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Can you make that a motivator for the next time she gets all A's? That would be fair wouldn't it? I mean you gave her an incentive for this time, maybe you can give her something else (like a special spa treatment or something) and then tell her if she gets A's for the next semester you'll let her get a belly piercing.

I would say it's a good compromise, and it becomes her responsibility to get good grades to get what she wants.

You made a deal, she gets A's, she gets to bleach her hair. She got all A's and you're willing for her to bleach her hair. You didn't tell her she could get her belly-button pierced. She spontaneously changed her mind, that isn't your problem. If you want to make a new deal for next semester that would be fair to me. Otherwise she can have some other treat of your choosing or die her hair some other colour or something. A deals a deal, she's a teenager, not an adult. She doesn't get to make the rules.

On that note if you refuse altogether she's just going to end up getting rebellious and a belly button piercing isn't the worst thing in the world. Make it a deal for next semester.

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Jerry - posted on 12/28/2013

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let her get her ears pierced becuse she is 13 go to the store with your dauthter and let her pick her wone earings with reason i went to the store with my daughter when she was 10 and make shore the store is clean i went to the mall we had momy and daughter day maybe she will have fun with you jerry

Miss_t_adams - posted on 12/28/2013

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Have her look up online what it stands for and how they do it. Then let her know your deal was to die hair not put strapping yourself. Then if you still feel bad make her another deal for it not just changing the one you have.

Leela - posted on 12/26/2013

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Your daughter is 13, almost 14 - read that sentence again and THINK. She is too young. You do not have to say yes to everything she asks for nor do you need to reward her for every good grade. These grades will help her in the long run and she needs to be told that. Let her excel simply because its her future! This applies to your younger daughter as well. Be a parent.

Ev - posted on 12/26/2013

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I have to agree with the posters here about the deal that had been made prior to the set of grades that came out. She should not be allowed to change the deal all of a sudden because she wants something else.

All that said, I do not understand why parents think that they should have to bend over backwards to award grades for every semester. It seems like bribing to me. I have never awarded my kids for each quarter or semester grades like this. My kids got more praises than money or other material things for their efforts. I would, however; sometimes treat them to something because they did so well. For example, this year during first nine weeks, I went to the parent/teacher conferences for my son. I got praises about how good a student he is not only in his grades but in how hard he worked, how good he was in class, how much he asked questions, and how he asked for help from the teacher when he even did not need it. His teachers wished they had more like him. That time I did give him a reward. But he knows that it will be a long while before I do that again. I do not have the funds to award him every time grades come out like that with something. He gets more praise and he knows we are proud of him for his efforts and the end results. He is now wanting to go on to tech school to become a mechanic. His older sister was dealt with much the same way and has a year or so left of college to get her Bachelor's. (Note: My son has also had to overcome a lot of learning delays as well. He would bring home flunking grades some grading periods but it was not that he did not do his work or failed to turn it in, it was because he did not get it at first. He brings home A's, B's and C's. I am proud of him. He also tested to read on a 12th grade level for junior year.)

Maybe you should try praising the kids instead of giving material rewards--they are going to feel entitled for that in the larger world when they do something great for an employer and that just does not happen often.

Nadine - posted on 12/26/2013

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She wouldn't be able to get it before 16, anyway. I have tattoos and had a few piercings (took them out), but let her know she wouldn't be able to get them until she's 16. Maybe offer her something else? Or some sort of rain-check for her 16th birthday, if she still wants it then?

Also... I know I'm not a mother, but when I read comment slut shaming little girls... I have to wonder. You are all raising the next generation of humans for this world, why resort to dated and harmful comments like that?

Jodi - posted on 12/26/2013

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It's illegal to get a belly button piercing under 16 here (for very good reason), so no way.

Xemoxprincessx - posted on 12/26/2013

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a 13 year old is still growing. if she got her belly button pierced when she was done growing it would be misplaced

Gena - posted on 12/26/2013

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Honostly no piercer should pierce a 13year olds belly,not even with permission from the parents.The body is still growing and a belly piercing is not a good idea at that age.Wait till she is 16.Any good piercer will tell you that.h

Gabrielle - posted on 12/26/2013

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I agree with Ariana. A belly ring really isn't the worst piercing, I have one that I got when I was a teenager and I'm in my 30's now. And no it does not make you look like a slut. I have 2 children and I understand that we make deals with them to motivate them, it's not a bribe or spoiling them it's giving them something to work for. As adults we work because we get a pay check at the end of the week, a child needs motivation as well.

As long as you personally don't have a problem with a piercing that can be hidden then work out a new deal with her for next semester. You made an agreement for this one and she is trying to back out of it now and no you should not let her do that or she will think she is running the show, but why not motivate her for next semester??

Besides if you flat out refuse then she will get one of her friends to do it and home piercings are dangerous, can get infected, and lets face it another child doing it will probably do it wrong which can lead to all kinds of bad things.

Amy - posted on 12/25/2013

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She's changing the terms of what you agreed to, if you want to allow it than go ahead but I wouldn't allow her to do it.

Gena - posted on 12/24/2013

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Well its like Ariana said,you made a deal that she can get her hair bleached..not for a belly piercing.Your daughter changed her mind on that one,so its definatly not unfair!If anything at all..your daughter is being unfair.Just let her do the hair thing and nothing else. In anycase,here were i live she would even have to get permision and come with mommy at the age of 16 to get a piercing.13 is way to young.

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from the piercing point of view, and this might help make her wait, that is a young age to get that type of piercing due to the body still growing. I have many piercings and am also a piercer. I personally would wait to around 16 at the youngest just so the body is closer to being done growing and the piercing won't be affected by the skin stretching as this happens.

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