Best Friend's 7 year old is a bad influence on my 5 year old

Kinshasa - posted on 07/22/2015 ( 6 moms have responded )

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My best friend's son is 7 years old and is adopted. He has some anger issues and she won't seek professional help for him. I believe he has emotionally and physically hurt my 5 year old. We monitor the two boys when they are together.
My 5 year old son adores her son, even though he bullies him. Now my son is exhibiting bullying behaviors towards other children. My son's is constantly looking for approval and attention from her son.
I don't know how to get my son to be his own person. Any suggestions?


He is dropped off at my best friend's house after camp, because I don't get out of work in time.

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Amaze - posted on 07/23/2015

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Shawn has a great suggestion that you let her watch your son only when you are around. Here’s an article that might give you some thoughts: http://bit.ly/1Mpvjhw. And since she is your best friend, why not suggesting her to see a counselor for her son.

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♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 07/23/2015

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Which is more important to you at this point? Your 'best friend', who apparently doesn't see the wrong in her child's actions, or your own child's mental health and well being, not to mention his own values as a person?

~♥Little Miss - posted on 07/23/2015

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How would your friend respond if the roles where reversed? Would she talk with you about your childs behavior?

If you are not willing to talk with her, or find other arrangements for your child, I suppose the best you can do is talk with your own kid about the importance of kindness. Sharing. Loving. Not being a bully. Holding him accountable for his actions. Making sure he understands how NOT to behave. You may not be able to control her son, but you can certainly teach your kid right from wrong.

But, if your child is being emotionally abused, bullied, or whatever....it is your job as a mom to step up and protect your child.

Could you lose a friend? Yup. But who is more important to you? Is your friendship more important that talking with your FRIEND about behaviors that are affecting your child?

~♥Little Miss - posted on 07/23/2015

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Well....you have 2 choices then apparently.

1. Let her son continue to be a bad influence.

2. Talk with her frankly and openly about your concerns. Preferably without the children around.

♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 07/22/2015

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find other arrangements for your son. If she won't see that perhaps her child could benefit form counseling, at the very least, then you are continuing to expose your son to the behaviour, and you won't get him to change easily.
It is best that you stop allowing her to watch your child without you being present.

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